Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year!

Last weekend I went to the coast and stayed an the Marina Dunes Resort. It was completely and utterly a fantastic trip! The entire time the weather was kind of stormy, so we got to feel the energy pouring off the crashing waves in the surf nearby. The on site resataurant had lots of dead things up for decoration, and the first pic shows the funniest one. As I snapped that image, the hostess was walking by and proudly said, "I decorated that one the best I think. It's my favorite!" Ha ha... if she only knew that I was taking the picture to document the sheer gall and irony of killing something, then using it as decoration, then putting a hat and ornaments on it to make it all cheery. Nice specimen of a gazelle though. He looks like he was contemplating what grass to eat next when they got him.

If you click on the middle picture, you'll be treated to a very large blow up of the beach that day. The wind was blowing so fiercely, that if you look closely, you can see misting blowing in the opposite direction off shore back out to the ocean.

The last pic is the wonderful view from our room. I took the image from in between some blinds, so that's what the interesting framing is about. It would have been nice to have a completely unobstructed view of the ocean, but as we walked along the beach, we could look into all the rooms with unobstructed views. Woohoo! I see you there on your bed watching TV and eating from the snack basket! (sigh... no naked folks).

After getting back, I got a wonderful case of the flu and am finally getting back to my old self today. I'm still all sniffly and coughy though. The good news is that I had plenty of time to take care of my ebay stuff and pretty much unloaded everything I wanted to. I am now an eBay expert and can teach classes to rubes on late night TV.

It's time to start hoarding Pepsi

Okay, so I know that the image doesn't look like much. But I love the warmth of the hardwood floors contrasted with the bubbly blue lights. For those who don't already know, this is a great billiards bar in Berkeley. Thalassa has been host to many fun events and gatherings, both long ago and recent. One of my fondest memories of this establishment took place almost exactly one year ago on Xmas eve. We didn't have anything to do and our families had gone to bed so we decide to see what was open. Lo and behold there was Thalassa. With it's low lights and aqautic themed decor, it was jumpin'! Granted it was mostly dudes who were there (or maybe all, I can't exactly recall), everyone was in a great mood and it was the perfect relaxing ending to a long day of holiday festivities.

In other news, my old computer has finally sold! Hooray! Sad how computers lose their value so quickly, but I got a decent price and I'll be completely relieved when the payment is sent, the computer is shipped off, and the auction winner sends me happy regards for her purchase. Only one more day left to go, and the remainder of my items will have closed. Whew! I don't think selling things on eBay is a good idea for someone as obsessive compulsive as I am (did anyone bid yet? nope. did anyone bid yet? nope. did anyone bid yet? nope. did anyone bid yet? one dollar! hooray!! did anyone bid two dollars yet? repeat and escalate...)

Finally, peruse my money making scheme on the right. If you're bored and would like to help an Asian brother out, click on the Google links and click around on the resultant site, or use the Google search bar to do searches for your holiday shopping (or porn surfing). I think I get a tenth of a hundreth percent of any money Google makes off of your clicking around. Sooner or later I'll be able to buy some gum! Don't kill my dream of minty fresh breath! Please click thoroughly and click often! Thank you for your support.

Hmmm... I just realized that 2/3 of this blog is about money. DAMN I'm greedy!!! I need to get hair like Donald Trump to complete my transformation.

RECENTLY BOUGHT AT TARGET®
2 Scrabble Board Games ~ 8.44 on sale!
1 Jenga ~ 8.44 on sale!
1 Monopoly ~ 8.44 on sale!
3 Twelve Packs o' Pepsi ~ 2.50 on sale!

All geek all the time

This post is more of a geeky afterthought. Included below is something poached from Overheard in the Office and a link to new Star Trek episodes based upon the orignal series.

Inside Wholesaler #1:
We could cast a fourth Lord of the Rings with some of the people that work on this sales desk.

Inside Wholesaler #2:
I know! [Janet] looks like a stump with eyes and a mouth.

God how I love unnecessarily harsh insults.

Star Trek: New Voyages
I just downloaded the second episode. For amateurs, this stuff is amazing. What's more amazing is that this schlock was more engaging than Aeon Flux. Bad acting and cheesy special effects, bring it on!!!

To add more randomness to this blog, ever since I misspelled results, I'm paranoid I'm going to write an email to a client promising great resluts. Every time I use that word I have to read it fucking five times before my dyslexic brain figures it out. Fcuk!

My life is a dramatization

When I saw this snowman night-light, I laughed and I laughed. It was the kind of laugh that can only come from someone with a naughty juvenille mind apparently, because no one else got it. C'mon folks! I'm not the only one that sees the humor in this, am I??? Look at how happy the snow man is holding onto his big red pole :) The best part about this night-light is that the red liquid inside the tube starts to bubble after it gets heated up! Sigh. I guess you had to be there. And yes, we all know that I am going to hell. But now we know I'll be going there without gifts, too.

Last night I was at Target and everyone including me was walking around in a zombie like fashion, fondling holiday gift potentials, but having a far away look in their eyes as they did so. Tis the season to be overloaded by options. I bumped into this one woman in the toy section and her cart was FULL of stuff. I kid you not. I've never seen a cart that full unless it was filled with go-backs and being hauled by a disgruntled low on the totem pole employee. She must live in a giant shoe or something.

So what have I been up to? Unloading all my junk upon the world through eBay!!! Muhahahahahaha!! Check it out here. Okay, not all of it's junk. I mean, a VHS tape of Flash Gordon. How could anyone resist I tell you? If any of you are game, please bid up my stuff and I will consider giving you "minion" status when I become evil overlord of the world (after Bush's term is over, of course).

Sleep, eat. Repeat.

I should be working now, but I've just been dying to update my blog (priorities, you know). Update it with you ask? NOTHING!! Ha ha. This will be just like an episode of Seinfield (except it will not be funny nor will it deliver me untold riches in royalty fees).

I went to my bank the other day and noticed that they still have the security camera pointed at the line and at the tellers. So while I'm standing around in line while the friendly tellers make chit chat, I can see that the guy at the counter in front of me and to my left just made a large cash withdrawl in several sets of twenties. Christmas could come early if I decided to follow him into the parking lot and pick pocket him - ho ho ho!

Of course, that would be naughty, and I probably wouldn't get the flamethrower that I desperately want :'( Speaking of which, to get something else I want, I decide to attempt to hock my Rotozip on Craigslist. I put a posting that said Rotozip for sale $59. Apparently, that was a very confusing thing to do. Because everyone who contacted me wanted to barter or get a lower price after I offered to demonstrate the usuage of the tool as well as fucking deliver it to their door! Augghh!! You can have the Rotozip for free if you'll let me use it on your skull to see if there's anything inside!!!

Actually, I don't hate the people who responded. They were all very nice, and one dude was pretty old and most likely a veteran (we had a genial half hour conversation). I guess I'm just a little frustrated at the whole process. I'm still emailing with someone who apparently works at Best Buy and wants to try to work a deal to get a deal. Can't anyone just buy my stuff with cash at a reasonable price without life stories???

As a fun random aside, if you like popping bubble wrap, you can do so virtually here (be sure to use manic mode). It's not as fun as real bubble wrap of course, but I enjoyed the novelty of doing it online for about 30 seconds.

I guess that's all I got. Everyone have a great weekend and drive safely! There are lots of out of towners driving about and they're all reading roadsigns while being frightend by rain instead of safely operating their vehicles :P

A life less ordinary

It would have been fun to spill the beans on my fancy new haircut on the blog before most people saw me, but I got too busy, yada yada yada. I gotta say, it has been more fun with the new 'do. People seem to be friendlier and I certainly get more attention from random folks on the street than normal (translate: from zero attention to slightly more than zero).

The two top questions I get are how and why (or in some cases, why????). The how is easy. Two mirrors, one on the wall and one in my hand, and the electric clipper in the other hand. Throw in some mirror dexterity and hand-eye coordination and I'm done. The why is more complicated. For fun is the easy answer. But I think it goes deeper than that (as most things do). I've been definitely wanting more something lately. What it is, I do not know. But I do know that I am not satisfied with myself and long for personal growth of some sort. Maybe I'll join a Kool-Aid lovin' commune or something. Who knows. I usually get out of these doldrums of sorts by days of heavy introspection. A sort of settling accounts with myself. What have I done? What have I been doing? What should I be doing? How can I improve? What should I keep the same? Many questions. Then answers that usually lead to more questions. I wish I could get paid to be a philospher. I could hold up a sign that says, "Will philosophise for food".

Then there's the picture of me with a bird on my shoulder. I'll keep the story behind that a mystery and instead tell you about the shot. I wanted to juxtapose a sullen expression with dramatic lighting against the little white bird. I could have had a goofy smile on my face as one might expect, but I think the image is far more interesting this way.

Big turkey yum!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! May your food be bountiful, your company remind you of why you should be thankful, and your life all the sweeter for reaffirming it.

I'm feeling fecund today

Unless you're really intersted in architecture, I'm sure these photos are probably pretty boring to you (and I wish they were better photos, but all I had on me was my phone… sorry!). I've actually been meaning to post them forever. They're photos of the Walt Disney Concert Hall in Los Angeles that I took while visiting my cousin. It totally looks like the Guggenheim in Bilbao, Spain, so I feel less bummed that I wont make it there any time soon (although I'd still love to make there some day). Almost everything about this structure is amazing in form and function. It makes me really wish that more thought was put into every building. And while I don't expect super fancy like this example, it would be nice if most structures simply worked and looked a little better than they do now (hence my constant fussing over the house).

As I sit and write this post during the wee hours of the night (well… it's 5am right now), I'm reflecting on a very busy, mostly crappy work week. I can't wait to have fun this weekend. I just want to relax and put work out of my mind! Lately I've been pondering if I should be doing something else with my “career.” Should I move to try to be a better designer? Should I try a new vocation entirely? I dunno. Oddly enough, as much as I have disdain for children in general, I take a great deal of satisfaction and pride in teaching them new things. I seem to connect to them easily (I think it's mostly because we're at the same maturity level) and I enjoy seeing the feelings that come with discovery and understanding. But as much as I'd want to be a teacher, I just know that I'm too moody to take kids day in and day out (little buggers!). Hmm… maybe I'm having a middle age thing going on. I wonder if I should just buy a Porcsche instead.

Dishes my blog

So there you have it. Some of my new plates set on top of the aforementioned bamboo charger. Pretty nice lookin', isn't it? It looks even better because the new plate is poplulated by some delicious pitas lovingly made by Cathryn. The photoshoot was set up by me. Yes, it took me a whole 5 minutes to arrange the plates and put in the empty dipping bowl for show (I hope you guys appreciate all my hard work!)

Speaking of hard work, I actually made it all the way to the gym today! Huzzah!! Huzzah!! Huzzah!!!! I was tired, but I really am happy I went. I can feel blood pumping through my veins again and I'll probably rest better tonight as well. Ah elusive motivation, I have found you at last today. I'm sure tomorrow and the next day will be a different story, but I'm working on it!

Here's a funny story for you… at work we have this ridiculous elevator where the buttons don't always register. I swear I pressed the button for floor 3, but when the doors opened, I was on floor 5. I took one step out, and went "What the hell???" and then wandered back in. Of course doing so right in front of the FedEx dude who was waiting to get in the elevator (the whole time blocking him from getting in). Aside from looking like a complete doofus who doesn't understand how elevators work, I felt all discombobulated from the feeling of being magically transported to a different building. Too bad I wasn't high with a bunch of other people who were also high. It would have been a much funnier experience!

Told ya. This blog was complete fluff. More fluff than in San Fernando Valley.

ps. I ate the pita. Yes I did. And it was fucking GOOD. Especially after I put some poppy seed dressing on it (it's better than crack!).

I should be sleeping now

But instead I'm still blogging! (I have a secret mission to push the video that keeps loading off of the bottom so that it's archived and can stop loading everytime I visit my fucking blog). There's something about old pictures that I've always loved. Is it the sepia tone? The non Kodak moment expressions? I dunno. But there's a warmth in the imagery that's not so common these days (I love, LOVE, daguerreotypes).

The images you see above are of my great grandparents on my father's side. If you ever wondered why folks don't smile in old photos, it's because in all likelyhood they were suffering a great deal. Seriously, times were tough back then. My dad was telling me of how they had to hide in a backyard for months while the communists were "pacifying" the countryside. They survived only because a neighbor noticed them there and nonchalantly tossed food over the fence when no one was looking. On my mom's side, they have similar stories because of WWII.

I'll have to remember not to complain so much when I decide to notice that no one is trying to kill me while I'm slowly starving to death.

Hmm… that's weird. I went from normal to serious again. Sorry about that. I promise the next post will be all fluff. You'll feel good about it and forget all about these not so fluffy ones.

Stompin' in my Air Force Ones

Ah, it's that time again. When bright lights are hung from the rafters, mistle toe hung over doors, green and red themed everything, and the holiday push to consume. I'm not talking about Decmeber though. All the xmas crap was in the stores before the Halloween candy sold out. I remember when consumerism was the big rallying point against all that's evil with our society. Interesting how times change, isn't it? Now we have honest to goodness evil incarnate as elected leader of our nation. Oh how I long for the days of SDI, Iran Contra, and weapons for hostages! Them were the good ol' days indeed.

Ha ha, sorry. I don't know where that came from. I guess I'm feeling all political again (although I promise to remain apathetic – sorry). In the meantime, enjoy this phallic image of a really cool building in SF. I took this image while drunk out of my mind from drinking an entire crystal geyser bottle of Vodka flavored with something sweet tasting (I think). Ah, good times!

I'll buy that for a dollar!

Well techinically, we were at the 99 cent store. And if wasn't surprised enough to see Necco Wafers on my right, there was this whole thing of condoms on my left! (oooo... dual pleasure) Not to be snobbish about something as important as prophylactic protection, but condoms for 99 cents is either a great deal, or the surest way to a paternity hearing. Getting back to Necco Waffers, I've never even tried them, but for some reason I know about them. Like they're somehow part of the American historical fabric. Are they a midwest thing? Do they taste good? Do they taste like ass? Please let me know! Because not only are they only 99 cents, apparently they're fat free as well. And is it just me, or do they look like road flares?

Sorry to be all Andy Rooney, but does anyone know about the history behind the saying, "beating a dead horse"? For whatever random reason, I thought, where the heck does that come from, and why would anything be equated to beating a dead animal? Why not beating a dead dog, cat, squirrel, or donkey? "Stop beating a dead donkey, I've heard enough!!"

Ah well, it would seem that I have more questions than answers. Such is life.

p.s. I went a little crazy this weekend and replaced all my hand-me-down dinnerware with stuff that I liked from you guessed it, TARGET!!

p.p.s Now that I know waht the fuck a "charger" is, Martha Stewart had better watch her back!

RECENTLY BOUGHT AT TARGET®
2 Global Home Zazen Crackle Tuquoise 4-pk. dinner plates ~ 19.99 on sale!
1 Global Home Zazen Crackle Tuquoise 4-pk. salad plates ~ 17.99 on sale!
4 Global Home Zazen Crackle Tuquoise soup bowls ~ 4.49 on sale!
2 Global Home Zazen Crackle Tuquoise dipping bowls ~ 3.58 on sale!
2 chargers ~ 6.99 each
4 Onyx bowls ~ 2.99 each
1 Onyx sushi set ~ 7.99

Spank you very much

Yes, as many of you have long suspected, I am a big dork. And since I finally have the photo evidence to prove it, I've decided to post it. But lo, what's this? I'm a nicely dressed dork! That's right, I'm sporting mother of pearl necklace(1) cuff links. Oh yes. That's right. Fancy. So whether or not you may have guessed by now from reading the blogs of my esteemed contemporaries, I'm dressed up for Rajan's big day. Right now he and Paula are most assuredly sunning themselves on a beautiful beach somewhere in the lower Americas. This was a good day of celebrating life, love, and friendship.

So guess where I'm blogging from today? I'm in Concord as a guest housesitter! Ah Blogger, you have served me well once again. I had a most productive day today. After getting up at 11ish, I played with the cats, then had a banana. Feeling internet withdraws, I then put together the home owner's computer in the kitchen (they recently got DSL hooked up and things aren't set up yet) and have been happily surfing since. Oh yeah, I also took a break to vacuum the house (yes, I was THAT bored) and clean out the litter box (it was as stinky as you'd ever want to smell). Vacuumming made me a bit peckish, so I broke out the port wine cheese and crackers and had my fill of a yummy snack. While eating said snack, I took a call and wrote this blog. Yep. I know, you want to be me, but like a government worker, I'm slacking off and don't plan to get fired any time soon.

RECENTLY BOUGHT AT TARGET®
Volcano High DVD as shown on MTV, voiced by today's hip-hop stars ~ 9.44
4 bags of Halloween candy for children begging at the door ~ 2.11 each

1 I wrote it, you thought it. It is indeed a reference for those of you with minds like mine :)

Maybe I need to wear more flair

So I had this really big thing written out about what Halloween was like for me this year. True to my experiences this weekend, Blogger hiccupped and subsequently wiped out all my words. So I'll sum it up. I apologized to all my friends for not being myself. I also thanked all of them for supporting me, understanding me, or otherwise overlooking my grumpy state. Near as I can tell, the skull that's depicted as eating my car, was also after my soul. I'm glad it didn't get it, and I'm glad for my friends.

I break, you fix. Thank you!

In honor of the upcoming All Hallow's Eve, here are two fun images for you! The first is a spider that has chosen my front porch as her new home. And check out a this sneak peak at my contribution to Amit's giant Halloween project. It's still a work in progress (obviously), and I'm hoping it won't be crap when all is said and done. I finally got to use my glue gun, and I gotta say that I can totally see myself becoming addicted to using it! After I got the hang of how it worked, I found myself looking for stuff to glue together (Hello, buttcheeks!). I had always hoped that there was a little bit of an industrial designer in me. Now if I can only fall in love with modeling foam...

I usually don't go on and on about new music (too much - heh, heh), but I just saw the new video from Madonna for the song "Hung Up" kicks so much ass, it is not to be believed! This song is just begging to be turned into a club friendly 12" mix, and if the rest of the music from her new album is of this caliber, expect to be inundated with her songs for a while.

Getting back to addictive things, I just ate a bunch of nacho flavored Doritos while drinking Pepsi. I was literally giddy with happiness after doing so. How can so much happiness come from a bag and a can? I don't know, but I wonder if there's a support group out there for what I have.

The hive diaries

I've been trying to write down everything I eat, wear, or am otherwised exposed to in an effort to find out what's triggering my hives because my doctor asked me to. So I end up looking like an escaped insane asylum patient who scratches himself and then records the special event in a notebook. It's been interesting in a way to see exactly the wide variety of things I consume in a day, but I don't know how long I can keep this up! I've had better luck with something else my doctor wanted me to do, though.

Everyday I'm supposed to boil up some water so that it's nice and steamy, then shove my head into the steam and breathe in the vapors for at least 5 minutes. Doing so is supposedly great for my always clogged sinuses. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that inhaling scalding hot steam into your lungs through your nasal passages feels great! Well, it actually doesn't even come close to something fun to do, but you know what? Doc was right. I've only been doing it fairly regularly for about two weeks and things are noticeably better (ha, ha, I said "doing it fairly regularly"). So if you find a "So I heard your sinuses are feeling better!" Hallmark card, please send it.

Oh yeah, since I love giving too much information (especially in the form of an embarrassing story), I vigorously adjusted myself the other day when I thought no one was around. Normally I'd wait until I'm in the glorious private solitude that is a restroom stall, but my undies were pinching all around somethin' fierce and something just HAD to be done. So I reached around and shook it all about to great relief, only to realize a moment later that all along the path I was walking upon were these rooms of a workshop with big windows and people working inside right next to them. The glare from said windows had duly blocked any hint of activity from where I was on the path at the moment of my decision to go for the gold. I don't know if any of them saw my little dance, but as nonchalantly as I could, I walked on through and didn't look back. That's right. No regrets. It was worth it. I was finally feelin' fine!

Last but not least, I almost forgot to talk about the pictures! The fishy was a happy little piñata. We then beat him with a stick until he burst open to spill his insides out onto the patio. He was filled with delicious, sweet, sweet candy. And something called Dots. Heretofore known to me as yet another thing that tastes like ass.

RECENTLY BOUGHT AT TARGET®
2 large terra-cotta pots on clearance ~ incredible deal at 12.48 each!
1 glue gun for halloween projects ~ 8.99
1 big bag of glue sticks for the glue gun (I'm living the glue gun dream) ~ 2.49
1 hanes crew neck sweat shirt for my mom ~ 6.49

Kentucky is the lubricant state

I can't believe it's been almost two weeks since we were wandering around the edges of the Mission when I came across these things. When I first saw the road sign, I couldn't believe it was for real! Ha ha. Those DOT folks have a sense of humor after all (considering that it took them a decade long study or something to figure out the new typeface to use for traffic signs). Perhaps they could put the sign up on the corner of Polk and Leavenworth to advertise fast service as well as promote safe driving speeds.

The lion was in the display window at a taxidermy shop. Get this, the door had a "no pictures" sign posted on it (oops, I saw the giant lion in the big window before reading the sign on the door). Apparently, it's okay to kill an animal, gut its insides, replace those insides with stuffing, treat its remaining outer shell with chemicals, and then display its corpse in a storefront, but whatever you do, DON'T TAKE A PICTURE OF IT!

It's not that I have a problem with killing things. I really don't. It's that people have a fucked up view of what's okay to be killed and what's not. I say, if you've ever killed anything, anything; an ant, a spider, a squirrel under you car tire, you're fucking fair game for the rest of the world. I'm not promoting excessive random killing mind you. I just think some goddamn motherfucking respect is in fucking order. I'm including myself in the mix of course – if I get eaten by a bear, it's my own fucking fault. Getting eaten would certainly suck as all get out, but don't shoot the bear because I was walking around with hoho's in my pocket while eating beef jerky and poking her cub with a stick. Fucking tourists.

Ahhh… that rant felt pretty good. For my money, birth and death are insignificant unto themselves, it's what happens in between that give either any meaning.

*For those of you interested in/need to know Kentucky's sodomy laws, click here to see why they did right by their state abbreviation (some free advice: skip the legal mumbo jumbo crap and read the last paragraph like I did with Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Formally Known As Prince).

The shape of things to come

The other night, I thought of this brilliant, brilliant, blog title. As I drifted off to sleep, I thought for sure I'd remember it. Ah well… the memory totally evaporated like a fart in the wind.(1) I should keep a notebook next to my bed like I used to while I was in school. So many things I would write half asleep! Some of them were even good.

If any of you have been to this Thai restaurant in Berkeley near People's Park, you might have noticed the statues that they have on their deck. I 'shopped out some telephone wires and boosted the contrast so you could make out at least some features on the Buddha's face. I liked the sky (it was dusk) as well as the shape against it with the building lights behind. Looking at it again, I suppose it could be more interesting, but eh… you can't win 'em all I suppose.

With rain pattering softly outside and the end of an easy week coming to a close, I'm feeling pretty content for once. I'm sure I'll get over it.

1 From The Shawshank Redemption. The warden makes the remark when they discover that Andy Dufrane is missing.

It's on like Donkey Kong

Sigh… this was one of those times that I wish I had my full sized camera with me. Cathryn and I went for a moonlit constitutional and part of our path took us past this pumping station (insert juvenille joke… … … now!). If you look closely, you can see Venus just above the right side of the building. I hope to return sometime soon with my Canon and maybe a tri-pod to get a better shot. Spontaneous, aren't I?

In other news, my hives returned over the weekend and here and there during this week, but now seem to be dissipating with less and less medication (Claritin saves the day, hooray for big pharma!) I'm hoping that they'll go away as mysteriously and quickly as they arrived. If you're not faint of heart and really curious as to what they look like, here's a scary picture for you to poop on. Seriously, if you're squeamish or think you'll catch them from me (you can't, as much as I'd like to spread my affliction – muahahahahahaha!!!), I do not recommend looking at the picture! You've been forewarned!!!

I think I'll masturbate and go to sleep now.*

*No, not really (today anyway), but for all of you who just recoiled from your computer, again, muahahahahahahaha!!!)

Equilibrium

So I guess the crappy week I had last week was actually a correction from the week before when I had so much fun I felt a little guilty about it (okay, not really). These photos are from Ruby Skye where we saw The Chemical Brothers DJ the night away. The music and the vibe were nothing short of amazing, and messing around with sleeping drunk people was a good diversion as well! (thanks, Merima!)

This week wasn't nearly as bad as last week. No more hives, appointments were made, bills were paid, and no one, not even me, got very upset over anything. I scored a new office chair from Target for half off and I'm using this new Oxo dohickey that washes tall glasses while dispensing soap – at the same time. It's an engineering miracle! Seriously, I know it's probably old news to many of you, but it's new and amazing to me! I've never been so jazzed to wash a cup… ever.

I've done a lot of sleeping, a lot of TV watching (HA! Boston can stay home now! Sorry Boston fans, I was happy that "the curse" was lifted and all, but the parade went on too fucking long for my taste – enough already!! I actually saw a fan, a MALE fan, crying into his hat as the White Sox celebrated. And yes, I laughed at that man. Dude, it's just baseball. Hmmm... on the other hand, maybe he bet 10 large on the series. Then he'd be crying because he's a fucking moron.), and a lot of Futurama watching while eating Doritos and drinking Pepsi.

Life is good as it always has been, I just forgot for a little while last week : | (sorry, Fate!)

Worst week ever!

Actually, if I really tried to think about it, I'm sure I could think of a worse week than last week. But last week was just a long string of dealing with rude people on the road, on the phone, in stores, etc. I'm not talking normal rude that we're all used to either. I'm talking in front of you snide remarks, remorseless dangerous driving, and gallingly childish attitudes. On one hand, I'm an adult. A fairly, dare I say it, responsible adult. And yet last week, I think I was on the brink of doing something felonious in response to what I experienced.

At times I thought to myself, maybe I just look like a push-over or something, but after dealing with amazingly rude person after ridiculously rude person after blatantly rude person, I'm starting to think that some bitch slapping is in order - even if only to retain my sanity. Sadly, I think it can only be of the verbal type though. But I do fantasize about taking a bat and smashing up someone's car just to get my point across that I didn't quite like how they almost sideswiped me while honking their horn and flipping me off... just sayin'.

Ahhh... even writing it down makes me feel a little better (the aforementioned catharsis in a previous blog). I'm looking forward to a friendlier week. A kinder week. And yes, a gentler week. Maybe it was a full moon or something or someone leaked some PCB into the water supply (Amanda, where are you?). Who knows. In any event, whomever finds their way to this blog, there's no need to worry that I'd actually do murderous harm. Because as much as I'd like to and as much as I might think that the human gene pool could use some serious culling, there's just too much fucking paper work when there's a dead body involved.

Have a nice day and go to your happy place : )

He dreams of trees

Not that I want to spoil things if you thought that this image was interesting (you'd have to appreciate the subtle detail by clicking on the image to enlarge it), but this photograph was taken by leaving the shutter open and shining a million candle power flood light around for a few seconds. As a photo geek, I was pretty happy with the results (originally spelled resluts – which makes less sense, but is far more entertaining).

I had the strangest dream ever the other day. You know that quote about a man dreaming that he was a butterfly, but upon waking could not determine whether or not he was a butterfly dreaming he was a man? I dreamt that I was me, but in an alternate universe. I woke up in my bed and was in a very colorful room filled with all this art that I had created.

The really weird part needs some context… you know how you simply know where you grew up and how you spit up food when you were 15, who you went to the prom with, etc.? Memories of a lifetime lived, but not at the forefront of your consciousness but that you could recall instantly if somone asked because it was your history? In my dream, I had an entirely different life, repleat with old memories, but I also remembered who I was in this life and was confused as to why I was in a different life. I was basically the same person, but in an alternate reality.

The dream was so real that while in the dream, I thought to myself, "This is so real, it cannot be a dream." And I started to pick up and move objects to test my new reality (a painting off the wall, and some books on a table I think). Everything worked and felt the way it would as if it were real until I tried to exit the room.

When I went to go to the door, instead of thinking "If this is real, I should be able to leave through that door", in the dream I decided to say it aloud. In the waking world, I felt myself start to move my mouth and vocalize the words and that shot me out of my dream state and back to my room at home.

It took me a few moments to realize where I was and that it was all a dream. But never before have I felt about alternate realities as I do now. I feel without question that I got to peek into a different world than the one am in now.

Red Bull is my friend and keeper

For the first time today, I purchased a BART ticket with my credit card. It was easy. It was fast. And it was bereft of fees. Why the hell didn't I ever notice that before??? I've been carrying around change and singles all these years for nothing! Well, at least now I know and I will join the rest of the Bay Area in the ease and convenience that is BART.

I convinced my project manager to give me the day off tomorrow, so no commuting into the city! I know I'm turning down money, but it'll be great to catch up on my other projects as well as some sleep.

Lately I've been having a complex with my blog. I wonder if anyone reads it. Am I that boring? Is everyone just busy? Maybe I need to advertise. Hell, advertising got me to go see shitty ass War of the Worlds, it certainly could get me a few readers. Then again, what if it's just me and I'm posting to myself? Would it be hubris or cathartic? Oh what the hell do I care? I just downed a Red Bull and bought 3 cases of Pepsi. That's right, 3 cases of Pepsi! On sale at Target for a mere two fiddy each. Fuckin' A, man, fuckin' A… I'm feelin' goooooood!

Burritoquest

I just came back from getting a delicious burrito from a nearby Taqueria. On the walk back, I forgot what part of town I was in. So when I saw a place called "Sizzle" that proclaimed itself as a fine dining establishment, I immediately thought, "hmmm fajitas? steak medallions on a hot plate? sounds good!". But as I continued to pass by this establishment, I noticed that the pictures of the interior went from showing shots of white table cloth tables to scantly clad women (wah-hoy!). "Oh yeah! I'm on Broadway! Duh." Deja Vu and Centerfold's is across the street and the taqueria I went to was across the way from the Velvet Lounge.

I'm not clueless, really I'm not (mostly). I just now know where to go when I have a hankering for some burritos AND boobies. Sometimes it's fun being an adult.

Kid with balloon

Hooray! My uploading of pictures works once more :) Here's a photo to keep you company while I dream about my next blog post…

The greatness of words

For some reason, I can't seem to upload images to my blogger pages, so until I figure it out, things will consist of soley boring ol' words. I'm kidding of course, and to prove it I'll share with you one of the best quotes I've read – maybe ever. There's an article in the April issue of National Geographic about reclaiming the battlefields of the civil war from urban sprawl. Get this, a used car lot is currently on top of where Gettysburg was fought. I know, I know, you just want to see the quote already…

"Generations that know us not and that we know not of, heart-drawn to see where and by whom great things suffered and done for them, shall come to this deathless field, to ponder and dream."

— Union General Joshua L. Chamberlain

O if I could be even half as poetic I'd be happy. But I revel in the loveliness of words and how they impart their meaning upon me. Let it never be said that I was not moved by words, but that on the contrary, I would feel deeply by all that is written or spoken deserving of such response.

Subliminal minimalism

Good god I'm tired. Why do I always stay up so fucking late? Time to shower and rest. Tomorrow I garden my various yard type areas. Hopefully I won't have to chase kids off my property. Damn kids! I'm sure I'll shake my fist in the air as I do, too. I'm an old, old man.

I think I'll wear my fighter plane helmet while I drive around town. Time to spice things up a bit. If I get pulled over, I'll just say I'm a Chinese pilot who's defecting to the U.S. Then I'll have diplomatic immunity and I'll be able to park in handicapped spots and shoplift with no consequences. That would be sweet.

Happy as fuck!

I just love how the flash picked up the falling snow in this shot. I believe this was from unValentine's day 2005. This was definitely good times. After taking this shot, I retreated into the warmth of the cabin and ate potato chips and drank Pepsi. Fuckin' A, man – fuckin' A.

So I cut my hair and the snazzy helmet fits like a glove (ha ha). But my head got used to the extra warmth that was provided by the 1/2 growth. So now I'm walking around and my head is cold. Damn. I guess it's back to knit hats for me. Maybe it's just getting colder. Isn't it almost October or something?

Recently I survived having a small meal of Popeye's Chicken. Mmmm... I ate a wing, a thigh, a bunch of 'cajun' batter fries, and an oily buttery biscuit. It was delicious to be sure, but I seriously think I dodge death every time I consume that stuff these days. I think my body became incapable of processing that much oil and grease after I turned 30. Again. Damn!

One last thing, the song Stay by Oingo Boingo has been looping in my head. I forgot just how good it is. I love rediscovering stuff. I was reminded about that song because it was in Donnie Darko. A seriously fucked up, disturbing movie! I highly recommend it.

Your helmet is so BIG!

Yesssss!!! My fabulous PRC* fighter helmet replica arrived today in the mail. Aside from the weary FexEx driver who almost hit my car while I was backing into my garage, this eBay purchase went off without a hitch.

I've been a little lazy cutting my hair, so it got to be almost a half inch long. Because of my giant melon sized head, the helmet fit was kind of snug. I look forward to shaving my head again soon to its proper length, thereby giving me a more comfortable fit :) I have no idea how pilots deal with the weight though. I think we should look into the history of war and see if the side with the lighter helmets always won because their necks didn't tire from holding up their fucking heavy ass helmets.

For the Fuck This Blog faithful, you may have been wondering where I've been. Aside from purchasing snazzy helmets on eBay, I got to see the Tibet exhibition at the Asian Art Museum in SF. The artifacts "recovered" by the Chinese government are truly amazing and beautiful. Definitely check it out if you can before they leave town. The museum's permanent collection also houses a magnificent jade objects section.

I feel better now. I blog, therefore I am.

*People's Republic of China

Stolen from Overheard In New York dot com

Okay, so it's probably bad to steal humor and put it on your site, but this was too funny and disgusting to ignore. It must be publicized!!!

[the following is from overheardinnewyork.com]

Guy #1: So, yeah, I walked in on my grandparents having sex one time.
Guy #2: Gross.
Guy #1: Now I can't eat raisins.
Guy #2: Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Guy #1: It's not what you think, because raisins are wrinkly and stuff. He was putting raisins into her vagina.

--1 train

Bugs Bunny didn't get away *this* time!

Well, I suppose it's not the real Bugs Bunny, but it's what remains of him on a warm September day. I share with you this partially melted, half eaten, cartoon character popsicle so that you too can have a sweet, tasty memory that reflects the days when you ran after the ice cream truck. Who knows, maybe you still do. Maybe we all should. I'm sure the weirdo ice cream truck driver guy would like it. Like baby pigeons, has anyone ever seen an ice cream truck driver gal? And if so, did she look like she could work at Hooters, or did she look like truck drivin' Large Marge from Pee-wee's Big Adventure?

On a side note (well, who am I kidding, this entire blog is a side note), I incorrectly thought that Blogger was bought out by Yahoo! - they were actually bought out by Google. No wonder it works so well!

Have a fun and safe Labor Day weekend everyone :)

You've got jury duty! (lost out to "You've got mail!")

More stuff from the Monterey Bay Aquarium… Chihuly did glass sculptures inspired by jellyfish and they were on display (the special exhibit was all sorts of jellyfish that month). Absolutely beautiful stuff! If you've ever been to the Bellagio in Vegas, he also has an installation there. I've seen that one though, and in my professional artistic opinion - meh.

Tonight as I was driving home from the evening's festivities, a car gradually approached behind me and just hung out. I figured, "Hey, this guy isn't being a dick by tailgating me, so I'll just move aside and let him pass." As he did, I admired his shiny black and white paint job and golden emblem on his door. Yep, it was good ol' Highway Patrol! I remember the days when I could tell that a car was a cop just by how it drove. Now, I've got cuffs on and I'm in the back seat before realizing, "Whoa, this car's a cop!" I should probably stop taking all those designer recreational drugs. They're deleterious to my perceptiveness I would say. Or maybe not. I can't tell.

Vegas, baby!

Vegas, August 2003. Not the best shot in the world, but I do so love the neon glow.

So my word of the day: copacetic \koh-puh-SET-ik\ adj : very satisfactory

Although I know the word, I don't think I've ever used it in writing or in speech. But for some reason I find it amusing. The next time someone asks me how my day is going, I'm going to answer, "It's fucking copacetic, man!" (even if it's a girl who asks - BIG points coming my way!!).

All that and a bag of chips

Mmmmm… San Francisco Sourdough Snacks, one of the saltiest, crunchiest, tastiest snacks ever created! This photo was taken during my last Tahoe trip in February 2005. I love how the flash reflected off of everything inside the foil bag.

So I stayed up late again but this time I was muy productive. I all but finished the design on my new business site, so in the coming days wjdesign.com will finally look like a designer lives there.

I was up until about 6am so I got to watch Bush come out to talk about the Katrina disaster. Every time words come out of that dude's mouth, he just personifies the phrase "uninspired leadership". At this point, I think our election in 2008 should be decided by finding a "CONGRATULATIONS!! YOU ARE NOW THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA" sticker in a Cracker Jack Box. Seriously, we'd be better off!

I saw Kofi imploring other nations to help us as we have always been there for them. I can't believe he said that with a straight face! Ha ha ha!!! I wonder if he realizes that the US is like soda. Tastes great, looks great, feels great, but rots your teeth, makes you fat, and bombs your country if you have strategic value but do not share it's ideals (okay, it's almost like soda). Don't get me wrong, I LOVE this country. Just refer to my previous blog about kicking repeatedly in the crotch and then launching certain persons into the Sun.

Never mind the buttocks, here's my pistol

Crappity crap crap!!! I just opened up my Rotozip tool and found out that the cooling fan is fucking defective. Thank you to those on Amazon.com who reviewed this pricey POS power tool and said that they found the same. So I might fix it or more than likely, I'll probably just replace it. Really, would anyone want to use a "fixed" tool that spins at 30,000 RPM next to their face? Fuck no! Fuck Rotozip! Bastards!!! Sigh… me and my Rotozip, we cut many splendid things together and now you must die a useless death.

In calmer news, this photograph is from Burning Man 2004. I was on the playa at the same time last year, so I thought it would be appropriate to post a photo from that experience. In a way I wish I was there! Perhaps next year - the year where BM will cause me to lose the remainder of my OCD cleanliness habits.

It's midnight and I'm going to take out my Rotozip frustrations by cleaning the house. Lemon-fuckin'-aid, yo! Can't wait for the coming day!

p.s. I just fixed the archive links. Apologies for anyone who tried to use them and was greeted by an error page. Apparently, it helps to know how to spell achive.

One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish

So I've decided that I'll post cool photos (by my estimation, anyway) that I've taken over the years as well as firing off the titular random thoughts. This shot was taken at the Montery Bay Aquarium. It's of a cool looking star fish and he's wrapped around some other animal that looks like chopsticks, but I can't remember what those are called. I accidentally called Jen P one day and on a whim decided to join her in Salinas. The trip was fun, the weather was sunny, but it's also most likely the place where I picked up my chicken pox (all those snot nosed kids running around putting their hands on everything you know - little fuckers! Can you tell how I'm not bitter about it though?).

I'm hankering for some ribs. Really good BBQ ribs. Damn. What's up with that?

This last paragraph is for Julienne… no big or special poops today. All is normal. Maybe I'll start making a photo journal and send it to you for your Christmas gift. I think it qualifies as a gift that keeps on giving. I'll call it, "#2".