He dreams of trees

Not that I want to spoil things if you thought that this image was interesting (you'd have to appreciate the subtle detail by clicking on the image to enlarge it), but this photograph was taken by leaving the shutter open and shining a million candle power flood light around for a few seconds. As a photo geek, I was pretty happy with the results (originally spelled resluts – which makes less sense, but is far more entertaining).

I had the strangest dream ever the other day. You know that quote about a man dreaming that he was a butterfly, but upon waking could not determine whether or not he was a butterfly dreaming he was a man? I dreamt that I was me, but in an alternate universe. I woke up in my bed and was in a very colorful room filled with all this art that I had created.

The really weird part needs some context… you know how you simply know where you grew up and how you spit up food when you were 15, who you went to the prom with, etc.? Memories of a lifetime lived, but not at the forefront of your consciousness but that you could recall instantly if somone asked because it was your history? In my dream, I had an entirely different life, repleat with old memories, but I also remembered who I was in this life and was confused as to why I was in a different life. I was basically the same person, but in an alternate reality.

The dream was so real that while in the dream, I thought to myself, "This is so real, it cannot be a dream." And I started to pick up and move objects to test my new reality (a painting off the wall, and some books on a table I think). Everything worked and felt the way it would as if it were real until I tried to exit the room.

When I went to go to the door, instead of thinking "If this is real, I should be able to leave through that door", in the dream I decided to say it aloud. In the waking world, I felt myself start to move my mouth and vocalize the words and that shot me out of my dream state and back to my room at home.

It took me a few moments to realize where I was and that it was all a dream. But never before have I felt about alternate realities as I do now. I feel without question that I got to peek into a different world than the one am in now.

Red Bull is my friend and keeper

For the first time today, I purchased a BART ticket with my credit card. It was easy. It was fast. And it was bereft of fees. Why the hell didn't I ever notice that before??? I've been carrying around change and singles all these years for nothing! Well, at least now I know and I will join the rest of the Bay Area in the ease and convenience that is BART.

I convinced my project manager to give me the day off tomorrow, so no commuting into the city! I know I'm turning down money, but it'll be great to catch up on my other projects as well as some sleep.

Lately I've been having a complex with my blog. I wonder if anyone reads it. Am I that boring? Is everyone just busy? Maybe I need to advertise. Hell, advertising got me to go see shitty ass War of the Worlds, it certainly could get me a few readers. Then again, what if it's just me and I'm posting to myself? Would it be hubris or cathartic? Oh what the hell do I care? I just downed a Red Bull and bought 3 cases of Pepsi. That's right, 3 cases of Pepsi! On sale at Target for a mere two fiddy each. Fuckin' A, man, fuckin' A… I'm feelin' goooooood!

Burritoquest

I just came back from getting a delicious burrito from a nearby Taqueria. On the walk back, I forgot what part of town I was in. So when I saw a place called "Sizzle" that proclaimed itself as a fine dining establishment, I immediately thought, "hmmm fajitas? steak medallions on a hot plate? sounds good!". But as I continued to pass by this establishment, I noticed that the pictures of the interior went from showing shots of white table cloth tables to scantly clad women (wah-hoy!). "Oh yeah! I'm on Broadway! Duh." Deja Vu and Centerfold's is across the street and the taqueria I went to was across the way from the Velvet Lounge.

I'm not clueless, really I'm not (mostly). I just now know where to go when I have a hankering for some burritos AND boobies. Sometimes it's fun being an adult.

Kid with balloon

Hooray! My uploading of pictures works once more :) Here's a photo to keep you company while I dream about my next blog post…

The greatness of words

For some reason, I can't seem to upload images to my blogger pages, so until I figure it out, things will consist of soley boring ol' words. I'm kidding of course, and to prove it I'll share with you one of the best quotes I've read – maybe ever. There's an article in the April issue of National Geographic about reclaiming the battlefields of the civil war from urban sprawl. Get this, a used car lot is currently on top of where Gettysburg was fought. I know, I know, you just want to see the quote already…

"Generations that know us not and that we know not of, heart-drawn to see where and by whom great things suffered and done for them, shall come to this deathless field, to ponder and dream."

— Union General Joshua L. Chamberlain

O if I could be even half as poetic I'd be happy. But I revel in the loveliness of words and how they impart their meaning upon me. Let it never be said that I was not moved by words, but that on the contrary, I would feel deeply by all that is written or spoken deserving of such response.

Subliminal minimalism

Good god I'm tired. Why do I always stay up so fucking late? Time to shower and rest. Tomorrow I garden my various yard type areas. Hopefully I won't have to chase kids off my property. Damn kids! I'm sure I'll shake my fist in the air as I do, too. I'm an old, old man.

I think I'll wear my fighter plane helmet while I drive around town. Time to spice things up a bit. If I get pulled over, I'll just say I'm a Chinese pilot who's defecting to the U.S. Then I'll have diplomatic immunity and I'll be able to park in handicapped spots and shoplift with no consequences. That would be sweet.

Happy as fuck!

I just love how the flash picked up the falling snow in this shot. I believe this was from unValentine's day 2005. This was definitely good times. After taking this shot, I retreated into the warmth of the cabin and ate potato chips and drank Pepsi. Fuckin' A, man – fuckin' A.

So I cut my hair and the snazzy helmet fits like a glove (ha ha). But my head got used to the extra warmth that was provided by the 1/2 growth. So now I'm walking around and my head is cold. Damn. I guess it's back to knit hats for me. Maybe it's just getting colder. Isn't it almost October or something?

Recently I survived having a small meal of Popeye's Chicken. Mmmm... I ate a wing, a thigh, a bunch of 'cajun' batter fries, and an oily buttery biscuit. It was delicious to be sure, but I seriously think I dodge death every time I consume that stuff these days. I think my body became incapable of processing that much oil and grease after I turned 30. Again. Damn!

One last thing, the song Stay by Oingo Boingo has been looping in my head. I forgot just how good it is. I love rediscovering stuff. I was reminded about that song because it was in Donnie Darko. A seriously fucked up, disturbing movie! I highly recommend it.

Your helmet is so BIG!

Yesssss!!! My fabulous PRC* fighter helmet replica arrived today in the mail. Aside from the weary FexEx driver who almost hit my car while I was backing into my garage, this eBay purchase went off without a hitch.

I've been a little lazy cutting my hair, so it got to be almost a half inch long. Because of my giant melon sized head, the helmet fit was kind of snug. I look forward to shaving my head again soon to its proper length, thereby giving me a more comfortable fit :) I have no idea how pilots deal with the weight though. I think we should look into the history of war and see if the side with the lighter helmets always won because their necks didn't tire from holding up their fucking heavy ass helmets.

For the Fuck This Blog faithful, you may have been wondering where I've been. Aside from purchasing snazzy helmets on eBay, I got to see the Tibet exhibition at the Asian Art Museum in SF. The artifacts "recovered" by the Chinese government are truly amazing and beautiful. Definitely check it out if you can before they leave town. The museum's permanent collection also houses a magnificent jade objects section.

I feel better now. I blog, therefore I am.

*People's Republic of China

Stolen from Overheard In New York dot com

Okay, so it's probably bad to steal humor and put it on your site, but this was too funny and disgusting to ignore. It must be publicized!!!

[the following is from overheardinnewyork.com]

Guy #1: So, yeah, I walked in on my grandparents having sex one time.
Guy #2: Gross.
Guy #1: Now I can't eat raisins.
Guy #2: Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Guy #1: It's not what you think, because raisins are wrinkly and stuff. He was putting raisins into her vagina.

--1 train

Bugs Bunny didn't get away *this* time!

Well, I suppose it's not the real Bugs Bunny, but it's what remains of him on a warm September day. I share with you this partially melted, half eaten, cartoon character popsicle so that you too can have a sweet, tasty memory that reflects the days when you ran after the ice cream truck. Who knows, maybe you still do. Maybe we all should. I'm sure the weirdo ice cream truck driver guy would like it. Like baby pigeons, has anyone ever seen an ice cream truck driver gal? And if so, did she look like she could work at Hooters, or did she look like truck drivin' Large Marge from Pee-wee's Big Adventure?

On a side note (well, who am I kidding, this entire blog is a side note), I incorrectly thought that Blogger was bought out by Yahoo! - they were actually bought out by Google. No wonder it works so well!

Have a fun and safe Labor Day weekend everyone :)

You've got jury duty! (lost out to "You've got mail!")

More stuff from the Monterey Bay Aquarium… Chihuly did glass sculptures inspired by jellyfish and they were on display (the special exhibit was all sorts of jellyfish that month). Absolutely beautiful stuff! If you've ever been to the Bellagio in Vegas, he also has an installation there. I've seen that one though, and in my professional artistic opinion - meh.

Tonight as I was driving home from the evening's festivities, a car gradually approached behind me and just hung out. I figured, "Hey, this guy isn't being a dick by tailgating me, so I'll just move aside and let him pass." As he did, I admired his shiny black and white paint job and golden emblem on his door. Yep, it was good ol' Highway Patrol! I remember the days when I could tell that a car was a cop just by how it drove. Now, I've got cuffs on and I'm in the back seat before realizing, "Whoa, this car's a cop!" I should probably stop taking all those designer recreational drugs. They're deleterious to my perceptiveness I would say. Or maybe not. I can't tell.

Vegas, baby!

Vegas, August 2003. Not the best shot in the world, but I do so love the neon glow.

So my word of the day: copacetic \koh-puh-SET-ik\ adj : very satisfactory

Although I know the word, I don't think I've ever used it in writing or in speech. But for some reason I find it amusing. The next time someone asks me how my day is going, I'm going to answer, "It's fucking copacetic, man!" (even if it's a girl who asks - BIG points coming my way!!).

All that and a bag of chips

Mmmmm… San Francisco Sourdough Snacks, one of the saltiest, crunchiest, tastiest snacks ever created! This photo was taken during my last Tahoe trip in February 2005. I love how the flash reflected off of everything inside the foil bag.

So I stayed up late again but this time I was muy productive. I all but finished the design on my new business site, so in the coming days wjdesign.com will finally look like a designer lives there.

I was up until about 6am so I got to watch Bush come out to talk about the Katrina disaster. Every time words come out of that dude's mouth, he just personifies the phrase "uninspired leadership". At this point, I think our election in 2008 should be decided by finding a "CONGRATULATIONS!! YOU ARE NOW THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA" sticker in a Cracker Jack Box. Seriously, we'd be better off!

I saw Kofi imploring other nations to help us as we have always been there for them. I can't believe he said that with a straight face! Ha ha ha!!! I wonder if he realizes that the US is like soda. Tastes great, looks great, feels great, but rots your teeth, makes you fat, and bombs your country if you have strategic value but do not share it's ideals (okay, it's almost like soda). Don't get me wrong, I LOVE this country. Just refer to my previous blog about kicking repeatedly in the crotch and then launching certain persons into the Sun.

Never mind the buttocks, here's my pistol

Crappity crap crap!!! I just opened up my Rotozip tool and found out that the cooling fan is fucking defective. Thank you to those on Amazon.com who reviewed this pricey POS power tool and said that they found the same. So I might fix it or more than likely, I'll probably just replace it. Really, would anyone want to use a "fixed" tool that spins at 30,000 RPM next to their face? Fuck no! Fuck Rotozip! Bastards!!! Sigh… me and my Rotozip, we cut many splendid things together and now you must die a useless death.

In calmer news, this photograph is from Burning Man 2004. I was on the playa at the same time last year, so I thought it would be appropriate to post a photo from that experience. In a way I wish I was there! Perhaps next year - the year where BM will cause me to lose the remainder of my OCD cleanliness habits.

It's midnight and I'm going to take out my Rotozip frustrations by cleaning the house. Lemon-fuckin'-aid, yo! Can't wait for the coming day!

p.s. I just fixed the archive links. Apologies for anyone who tried to use them and was greeted by an error page. Apparently, it helps to know how to spell achive.

One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish

So I've decided that I'll post cool photos (by my estimation, anyway) that I've taken over the years as well as firing off the titular random thoughts. This shot was taken at the Montery Bay Aquarium. It's of a cool looking star fish and he's wrapped around some other animal that looks like chopsticks, but I can't remember what those are called. I accidentally called Jen P one day and on a whim decided to join her in Salinas. The trip was fun, the weather was sunny, but it's also most likely the place where I picked up my chicken pox (all those snot nosed kids running around putting their hands on everything you know - little fuckers! Can you tell how I'm not bitter about it though?).

I'm hankering for some ribs. Really good BBQ ribs. Damn. What's up with that?

This last paragraph is for Julienne… no big or special poops today. All is normal. Maybe I'll start making a photo journal and send it to you for your Christmas gift. I think it qualifies as a gift that keeps on giving. I'll call it, "#2".