3000 years can't be wrong

Since the topic of health has been on my mind lately, I thought it'd be a great idea to throw down some Eastern medical knowledge on ya. But being mindful (and not really knowing that much), I'll go over a few simple things that I've used for my entire life and I can say from experience, works great! It's been fun introducing Cathryn to them and seeing that they work on non Chinese people too :)

Hirudoid
German product, distributed in Thailand and worldwide

Can be used for: bruises and burns, topical ONLY
I primarily use this stuff for bruises. Remember that ugly shot from the previous blog entry? Now gone in 4 days! Downside? The harder you rub on your bruise, the better this stuff works. More frequent applications dissipate the thrombosis more quickly. It's been fun helping Cathryn "build character" with this one ;)

The key to using Hirudoid is to KEEP APPLYING it for at least 3 days after your bruises can no longer be seen; longer if your bruise is severe. A bruise is basically a collection of clots and damaged tissue. If you don't rub all of it out completely, you can end up with a phantom bruise for the rest of your life.


Baht Fahn Yaow (phonetic spelling for Cantonese name)
White Flower Analgesic
manufactured in Hong Kong, find this in any Chinatown

Topical uses: stomach aches, decongestant, nausea
Oral use: place a tiny amount on your finger and apply it as far in your mouth as possible to help alleviate coughing
This stuff is AWESOME. Completely natural ingredients, too. It was made famous for me during childhood by our many vomit inducing car rides on winding roads. Rub some on your tummy or under your nose and you're good to go. Some people hate the smell of planes, and this works for that too. I also think it's the only Chinese medicine I've ever used that actually smells good.


Siang Pure Oil
product of Thailand, find this in any Chinatown

Uses (from the bottle, English corrections by yours truly): inhale fumes for relief from dizziness or feeling faint, topically used for relief from flatulence (I'm assuming gas), cramps, sprains, muscle strain, and insect bites.
I love the picture of the old dude with the long beard on the front. It feels extra Chinese-y to me. I never really used this stuff until now. It's GREAT for rubbing over stubborn muscle knots. I haven't used this for anything else, but the main ingredients are menthol and peppermint oil, so I'm sure it should work well as a general analgesic.


Wood Lock Medicated Oil
manufactured in Hong Kong, find this in any Chinatown

Ah, good ol' Wood Lock! Back in the day when I played a lot more sports, this stuff should have been simply strapped to me. Use for jammed fingers and sprains. Liberally rub this stuff in while stretching out your injury as much as you can stand it. Western medicine dictates you bandage up and don't allow movement to sprains. But I find this leads to stiffness and pain after the sprain has "healed" (they never really go away). For severe sprains, I would recommend a combination of Western and Eastern remedies.



Pak Si Pain Relieving Oil
manufactured in Singapore, find this in any Chinatown

Uses (from the bottle, English corrections by yours truly): for the temporary relief of minor aches and pains of muscles and joints associated with simple backache, arthritis, sprains, bruises, and sprains.
Why sprains is listed twice, I have no idea, particularly since I use this for one thing and one thing only. Spider bites! God damn fucking spiders!!! Ever since they've started biting me (don't know why) I've needed to use this stuff. I think it should be good for bug bites as well.

Be forewarned, Pak Si is like slightly viscous gasoline. It's main ingredient is TURPENTINE, so that should give you a good idea of what I'm talking about. Who knew paint thinner would be good for spider bites?


Iodine Tincture
find this in everywhere

Yeah yeah, this isn't really Chinese (though I'm sure we invented it, like everything else), but it gets honorary mention because it's smelly and you know it's working when it hurts. I grew up with stuff and have since gone back to it after being dissatisfied with Neosporin and the like (which keeps wounds moist and makes for a longer healing time). IMHO, for small cuts, scrapes, and nicks, there's nothing better than a butterfly band-aid and some classic poisonous iodine.

Young children and pregnant women shouldn't use this stuff and it's for minor wounds only. Large or deep cuts and abrasions should be treated with gauze or Super Glue® and probably a trip to the emergency room.

Well there you have it... there's more of course, but this is a basic rundown of what I use all the time to get through the day. Keep in mind that none of the items mentioned above should ever get in your eye, are for topical use, and you should use common sense when considering solutions for your own or someone else's medical care. In other words, don't sue me if you're a dumb ass.