jet lagggggggged

I'm back! Back from an awesome vacation in Italy! I'll probably be doing a 10 part blog installment or something because there's so much to tell and lots of images and even a few videos to post. But in the meantime, we've been sleeping 9-12+ hours per day since we got back after a brutally long 32 straight hours of check out, taxi service, check-in, flight, transfer, flight, baggage claim, customs, more check-in, more flight, more baggage claim and much standing in lines and waiting about in between.

We did manage to step out for some groceries though, and the freakin' loads of laundry has begun. On the way home from Trader Joe's I said, "I'm SO tired... I either need milk or a nap." Don't know what that means? Neither do I! I'm pretty sure 'twas delirium.

since when has my Google page become iGoogle?

Enough with adding the small "i" in front of things already!!! I don't even know what it means anymore! First it was "e" everything, now this... how about using the letter "f" in front of everything? THAT would be something I'd like to see... fBush, fMicrosoft, fExxon, fRepublicans...

mad world

So last night I was using Google maps to plot where to go in NYC and Italy and decided to take a gander at Afghanistan as well. I figured I'd come across some high resolution shots because of the conflict in the region. Sure enough, near an airport at what I'm guessing is Mazar-e Sharif were some incredibly detailed shots. Of course, what I found was more than I bargained for. I saw damaged planes on the runway and half the city looked like it had been erased poorly in photoshop. In Kabul, the airport is surrounded by what I'm assuming are US military facilities. Everything else beyond it looks destroyed.

It was all quite very sad and very much put in perspective what I've been complaining about recently. Just thinking about it makes me feel ill. George Bush and his administration can't leave soon enough, and when they all eventually die, I'm sure there will be a special place in hell for them right next to where Hitler and Slobodan Milošević are staying.

yellow recluse

Either I'm going to do something worthy of a genius or become another unabomber. At least I think that's the direction I'm headed in unless I figure out a way to get out of the house more often. Actually, I now have acrylics and those blank canvases in the garage are calling my name.

And if I do become a unabomber, believe you me, I'd come up with a much cooler name. UNAbomber? One bomber? That isn't imaginative at all! I'd be something like, The Bombastic Bombadierello, or The Dark Hand of Dark Justice in a Dark Alley, or maybe even the Ragin' Asian (actually, maybe not that last one, all things considered). I'd also have to come up with a cool logo, too. Hmm... this is starting to sound like a lot of work - I think I'll just sneak out and buy a bucket of KFC instead. Mmmmm... all dark meat please... thighs and drumsticks.... it's calorific!

Why aren't there vegitarian eating contests?

Okay, not a contest to eat vegetarians, but an eating contest that would have people compete against each other by eating various vegetarian food. I think there's a certain irony to it that appeals to me. "Oooo... don't eat meat... it's MURDER!" and then cut to a bunch of people scarfing down as many carrots as they can. Or tofu. Or sprouts (my favorite visual). Or maybe soy burgers. Tofurkey?

3000 years can't be wrong

Since the topic of health has been on my mind lately, I thought it'd be a great idea to throw down some Eastern medical knowledge on ya. But being mindful (and not really knowing that much), I'll go over a few simple things that I've used for my entire life and I can say from experience, works great! It's been fun introducing Cathryn to them and seeing that they work on non Chinese people too :)

Hirudoid
German product, distributed in Thailand and worldwide

Can be used for: bruises and burns, topical ONLY
I primarily use this stuff for bruises. Remember that ugly shot from the previous blog entry? Now gone in 4 days! Downside? The harder you rub on your bruise, the better this stuff works. More frequent applications dissipate the thrombosis more quickly. It's been fun helping Cathryn "build character" with this one ;)

The key to using Hirudoid is to KEEP APPLYING it for at least 3 days after your bruises can no longer be seen; longer if your bruise is severe. A bruise is basically a collection of clots and damaged tissue. If you don't rub all of it out completely, you can end up with a phantom bruise for the rest of your life.


Baht Fahn Yaow (phonetic spelling for Cantonese name)
White Flower Analgesic
manufactured in Hong Kong, find this in any Chinatown

Topical uses: stomach aches, decongestant, nausea
Oral use: place a tiny amount on your finger and apply it as far in your mouth as possible to help alleviate coughing
This stuff is AWESOME. Completely natural ingredients, too. It was made famous for me during childhood by our many vomit inducing car rides on winding roads. Rub some on your tummy or under your nose and you're good to go. Some people hate the smell of planes, and this works for that too. I also think it's the only Chinese medicine I've ever used that actually smells good.


Siang Pure Oil
product of Thailand, find this in any Chinatown

Uses (from the bottle, English corrections by yours truly): inhale fumes for relief from dizziness or feeling faint, topically used for relief from flatulence (I'm assuming gas), cramps, sprains, muscle strain, and insect bites.
I love the picture of the old dude with the long beard on the front. It feels extra Chinese-y to me. I never really used this stuff until now. It's GREAT for rubbing over stubborn muscle knots. I haven't used this for anything else, but the main ingredients are menthol and peppermint oil, so I'm sure it should work well as a general analgesic.


Wood Lock Medicated Oil
manufactured in Hong Kong, find this in any Chinatown

Ah, good ol' Wood Lock! Back in the day when I played a lot more sports, this stuff should have been simply strapped to me. Use for jammed fingers and sprains. Liberally rub this stuff in while stretching out your injury as much as you can stand it. Western medicine dictates you bandage up and don't allow movement to sprains. But I find this leads to stiffness and pain after the sprain has "healed" (they never really go away). For severe sprains, I would recommend a combination of Western and Eastern remedies.



Pak Si Pain Relieving Oil
manufactured in Singapore, find this in any Chinatown

Uses (from the bottle, English corrections by yours truly): for the temporary relief of minor aches and pains of muscles and joints associated with simple backache, arthritis, sprains, bruises, and sprains.
Why sprains is listed twice, I have no idea, particularly since I use this for one thing and one thing only. Spider bites! God damn fucking spiders!!! Ever since they've started biting me (don't know why) I've needed to use this stuff. I think it should be good for bug bites as well.

Be forewarned, Pak Si is like slightly viscous gasoline. It's main ingredient is TURPENTINE, so that should give you a good idea of what I'm talking about. Who knew paint thinner would be good for spider bites?


Iodine Tincture
find this in everywhere

Yeah yeah, this isn't really Chinese (though I'm sure we invented it, like everything else), but it gets honorary mention because it's smelly and you know it's working when it hurts. I grew up with stuff and have since gone back to it after being dissatisfied with Neosporin and the like (which keeps wounds moist and makes for a longer healing time). IMHO, for small cuts, scrapes, and nicks, there's nothing better than a butterfly band-aid and some classic poisonous iodine.

Young children and pregnant women shouldn't use this stuff and it's for minor wounds only. Large or deep cuts and abrasions should be treated with gauze or Super Glue® and probably a trip to the emergency room.

Well there you have it... there's more of course, but this is a basic rundown of what I use all the time to get through the day. Keep in mind that none of the items mentioned above should ever get in your eye, are for topical use, and you should use common sense when considering solutions for your own or someone else's medical care. In other words, don't sue me if you're a dumb ass.

better living through pharmacy

So whatever I got went from chills and body aches right to chest busting, wheezing bronchitis. I even had trouble sleeping because I sounded like a chew toy every time I exhaled. Sigh... and I thought I was doing so much better on the health front, too. But lucky for me, my doc and I have and understanding (after what happened last time) and she gave me a prescription for antibiotics over email :)

I ate my first dose of azithromycin with lunch and I'm already feeling better, but I'm still a phlegm factory; which means the occasional bout with some pretty violent coughing. I wonder if I should start a clothing line called "phlegm factory"? Hmmm... but I should misspell it to be "cool"... how about "Flem Phactory"? All the stuff I make would only come in greens or yellows and be soaked in Vicks Vapor Rub. What a great idea!

Dancing With the Stars: I don't get it.

Have you ever gotten a bruise and then not really remembered where or how it could have happened? Well, I got this beauty on the right arm and let me tell you, it hurts like the dickens! It also feels like there's a weird bump there now about the size of a slug. Weird.

In other weird news, apparently I was on TV. Channel 7 to be exact (our local ABC affiliate). I was interviewed about how BART was doing because of the maze closure on my fateful passport day and I think it aired during the 6 o'clock news (my cousin's mom spotted my interview - I'm sure I looked like quite the lump, being physically and emotionally drained that day). I wish I coulda taped it!

Since I've been god awful sick, I've been watching even more TV than I usually do. The Warriors beat the Mavs, which is really cool, if I cared at all how they did. But I gotta say I do love the interviews with Don Nelson. I recall the hey day of Warriors basketball when I grew up (Run TMC) and Nelly was a prick. Now he just seems like he doesn't give a damn WHAT happens, which is an attitude that I can look up to!

The one professional sports team that I DO care about is the Sharks… which of course makes the games entirely too painful to watch. Each season they seem to get better, but they still don't look as tight as East Coast teams. Maybe it's just a different style of play, but whenever I watch the Devils or say, the Penguins skate around, they look snappier.

But I digress, I was talkin' TV! Thanks to Shelley, my current eBay deal obsession remains a Tivo with lifetime subscription. One day...

Just hanging around not doing much...

Hmmm... not much to report lately. I think I'm finally coming down from dealing with the stupid passport thing and I'm not really sure where I'm at right now. Not even a visit to Target and eating fast food has lifted my spirits! What has the world come to??? Schmoopy has tried to help, but I don't want to spread my angry funk to anyone else. I think I just need time. Tomorrow will be better!

In the meantime, I would like to share with you a really cool plug in for iTunes that I read about in my favorite music blog. It's called iConcertCal and it grabs live show info based on your music library and location. It's not Apple sleek and pretty, but it works great! Anyone want to catch Ima Robot on June 10 at Slim's?