I'll do it after later.

Sometimes when I have change in my pockets, the metal jingles with each step and I imagine I'm a cowboy with spurs on my boots.

cool sampling

If you're on the business end of this pose, you're probably about to get a HUGE can of whoop-ass opened up on you.

One of my favorite bands, Thievery Corporation, has a song (The Foundation) with this awesome sample in it. Lo and behold, it's a quote from Enter the Dragon.

[Han, referring to his collection of weapons...] It is difficult to associate these horrors with the proud civilizations that created them. Sparta, Rome, The Knights of Europe, the Samurai. They worship strength, because it is strength that makes all other values possible.

I don't know why, but that quote makes me think about the deeper meanings of truth, valor, honor and the like. And of course, it was a great lead off to some really fucking awesome kung fu ass kicking action.

I got nuts. Salty nuts. Care to put them in your mouth?

While waiting in the long ass line on Black Friday at Fry's, I worked up a powerful hunger and thirst. The thirst was quenched by Glaceau Vitamin Water Defense Raspberry-Apple and my hunger sated by a bag of Corn Nuts Ranch with a BBQ bag for back up. Ah Corn Nuts, how I fondly remember your crunchy, salty goodness from my high school days when each bag cost a paltry 15¢, and my gastrointestinal system had a youthful fortitude that only the intestines possessed by the young could have.

Now they cost a dollar thirty and make me feel ill after eating them. Kind of like I ate large brick of margarine or something. Same happened with the BBQ bag a day later. I guess I'll just have to settle for my fond memories from long ago of greedily shoveling bag after bag of delicious nuts into my mouth.

awesome Bender background

After finding a cool Bender desktop background based on the Apple iPod ads, I just had to create my own. Enjoy!

let's shug

I just finished watching a new actually entertaining sitcom called Big Bang Theory. I don't know if they can keep up the decent sci-fi/geek/nerd yucks, but so far, so funny. I don't know who Chuck Lorre is (producer, writer, both?), but because of Tivo I was able to spot a funny easter egg of sorts during the end credits. You can read them all at www.chucklorre.com.

CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #184

Don't fall for a woman who has had sex with one of your rock n'roll heroes. No matter how emotionally evolved you think you are, you will never enjoy listening to Eric Clapton again.

Don't lurk around web sites where people comment about your work unless you're drunk.

Don't use emoticons. You're too old to communicate like a twelve-year old girl.

Don't forget that you are the product of a culture that went stark raving mad about ten thousand years ago. Adjust your thinking accordingly.

Don't answer TV critics questions about the state of TV comedy. It's a trap.

Don't eat anything bigger than your head. True in the sixties, true today.

Don't believe that crap that you're as young as you feel. Your feelings lie.

Don't hug men while shaking their hand. Enough already with that. The shake/hug (shug?) is probably something Roman guys did when their empire was in decline.

will design for apples

I'm still holding my breath, awaiting the soul crushing work that I'm sure is to come, but so far things at Apple have been happily in my sweet spot of design. Everyone is super nice, very much qualified, and as far as I can tell, happy to be at work (maybe they pump oxygen into the building like they do at casinos).

I spent lunch today eating a sandwich at an outdoor table and enjoying the warm sun in the main courtyard. I still can't quite get over how I ended up there, but I think it's one of those things where you shouldn't think too much about it, but just enjoy things and make the most of any opportunity you're given.

I was very tempted to take a picture of the grounds so you could see what I see, but security is taken rather seriously at Apple and I figured why chance it? I can tell you that it's quite the normal company campus though. I half expected things to be like Shangri-la with peacocks and maidens flitting about, but it's pretty much well manicured late 80s - early 90s architecture. The cafeteria food I think is good, but by the time I got there today things were pretty cleaned out - like a swarm of locusts had swept by or something. I can't wait to try out the lamb curry!

feeling all consumer-y

Just like during October when I get a sudden craving for sweets, during November and December the craze of buying sets in. I can't help it! I've been successfully programmed! All the sales and deals abound are too much to resist. I MUST buy something!! The problem is, I don't really need anything that I don't already have. Sure, a diamond encrusted plasma screen TV would be nice, but all that sparkling would probably interfere with watching all those Lost Dancing Star Idol people.

Seriously, when did this happen to me? I never used to be this bad. I feel like I'm frothing or something (sorry, please excuse my bubbly spittle). It's like if I just went out and bought the perfect THING, whatever that was, all my gadgety dreams would come true! Now if I could only raise some quick cash to convert into a material object that I would soon tire of... anyone want to buy a PS2?

gas station ghost

More fun video from YouTube. Personally, I think it's just a really amazing fart by the station owner and he's covering it up. Either that or it's something on the lens. No matter what, I think it's good for business.

david blaine parody

This is only really funny if you know who David Blaine is. These guys do a great job of of monkeying his best tricks :) I have no idea how the guy playing David Blaine kept a straight face through this whole bit.

photos from the phone

Sadly, this is the only shot I got from Krissy's reception (at Ton Kiang) because I forgot to bring my camera. D'oh! The food was as good as it was plentiful. My favorite is still the opener: shark fin soup! Which I really hope didn't require the death of any actual sharks. A close second was the sticky rice stuffed chicken. Mmmmmm... sticky rice :P

It was wonderful to see Krissy and Matt again and I always find it really cool to meet friends' parents. In a way, you get to meet their past and their future at the same time.

Of all the times I've been on Geary, this is the first time I've noticed this church. Or at least it's the first time I recall noticing it. It must be because it blends in so well with the surrounding architecture.

Another shot from the beloved Thalassa. O how I need to hang out there more than I do.

rokenbok obsession realized!

So after some tense eBay moments, I finally got my Rokenbok fix! They're really cool and lots of fun. But of course the fact that I'm an adult and that I don't have a lot of time nor space in the house for these fun toys means that they will be headed to my nephews as a rockin' Xmas gift. Personally, I think the forklift is the coolest vehicle. Too bad there's only one of them. Let the fighting begin!

the head shop

Man I can't wait to get a new phone! Not that my venerable RAZR hasn't done right be me for the last 3 years or so (I've seriously beat it up and it keeps on ticking!). But because a shinier, cooler looking, better featured Sony Ericsson K850 is to soon be released into my market area. It has a 5MP camera built into it and I'll be able to take sharper pictures of mannequin heads. Because after all, isn't that what it's all about?

our continuing adventures at Target

Last night while shopping at Target, I ran into a bunch of stuff that the sisters Rha would just love! Tons of penguin schwag and even an animatronic pony for a mere $249. The pony is pretty much creepy, but I'm sure some little girl (or little boy as it were) who have parents with deep pockets is sure to enjoy the cockles of robotic affection in place of real parental love. Manure not included.

ah, how I love Calvin & Hobbes

I subscribe to the Calvin and Hobbes archive and enjoy reliving the numerous strips that I laughed to in days past. Here's one that was sent to me today that made me laugh like it did before...

3… 2… 1… let's jam!

If you're a fan of anime and somehow haven't heard of this title yet, do yourself a huge favor and check this out. I can't remember when I first heard about Cowboy Bebop, but I do remember the name sticking with me. What the hell is it???

In short, it's a jazz scored, space cowboy bounty hunter noir action cartoon. The characters and environments are ultra rich and add a lot of complexity to the already interesting tapestry that the main characters weave with their various storylines. Not every episode hits the mark, but almost every single one has an amazing shot in it.

I'm catching up on all the episodes on Netflix. Hooray for them! For they have the 5.1 remixed versions and the surround sound is used wonderfully for both atmospheric effects as well as the soundtrack (though I'd skip Vol. 3 - zzzzzz....)

As usual, S Adams is spot on!

Tee hee :)

(you might need to click on the comic to read it).

mind the gap...

The other day a coworker of mine told me that her cell phone dropped down an elevator shaft. My first thought was, "Oh my god!!! Are you okay??? What were you doing in an elevator shaft???" But then it gets funny, because cell phones are so thin these days, as improbable as it is, her phone fell right into that gap between the elevator and the floor. Who woulda thunk it? Ha!

hooray for Icon Factory!

Check out a bunch of cool FREE icons there....

If you're like me, you'll head straight for the Futurama ones :D

Sweet and sentimental, or a cry for help?

Personally, it feels nice and sweet. But that's only because I live in Schmoopytown.

to know me is to know that I love cheating

Thanks to Julienne, playing Scrabble has become A LOT easier! No more making up words and then looking them up to see if they're real. Anagrammer™ does all the work for you! Actually, I think you'd learn more words faster than if you're just using a dictionary. Because after all, it's hard to find all combinations if you don't even know what you're looking for. Not that I'll always remember, but it helped me place two 7 letter words: bornite, and regulus (both words relating to metal oddly enough).

Did Julienne and I get together to play Scrabble you might ask? Technically, nope! I was really avoiding it for as long as possible, but I recently made a profile on yet ANOTHER web 2.0 social network called Facebook. Julienne found me there and introduced me to a Facebook "application" called Scrabulous. It's loads of fun and you can play your turn whenever you like, so it's really easy to have a game. Anyone want to play?

futuramarama

I've been hearing about a Futurama movie forever it seems, but on Nov 27, it's going to become a reality. Huzzah!!! Read all about it in this article in Wikipedia.

rok-en-bok! rok-en-bok! rok-en-bok!

Long ago while happening upon the Games of Berkeley, I saw a Rokenbok display and was instantly enthralled! But alas they were too expensive and I was too shy to play for very long while other people stood around me.

Fast forward like 15 years later and after playing with Legos at Haydee's reception, the memory of Rokenbok returns. But now there's buying online and of course buying used on eBay! So I'm hoping to get a nice used set at a decent price.

In the meantime, I'm amusing my self with the ultra cheesy Rokenbok promo videos. Get a load of this one advertising their Emergency Speedster. Notice how quickly it finds a person pinned under a truck, proceeds to place emergency cones and barricades, and then leaves the guy to die while it drives away. The 70's action theme music really completes it.

eBay dismay

GAH!

I swear, every time I'm just dying to get something on eBay, I see the item with the following times left:

6d 11h 43m
5d 5h 12m
2d 6h 4m
1d 20h 39m
8h 4m
3h 19m
and…
ENDED

I think I need to buy one of them sniping programs :(

after shots :)

Hey hey! Everything is mostly sealed up now and all I need to do is finish putting on the primer and then it's on to painting (and other projects).

photobooth fun

Here's the Warhol filter. It's ART, baby!

Hmmm... when I first took this, I thought, "Ooooo, headless!! Scary!"
Now it just looks like the back of a chair.

It doesn't look like too much work, does it?

Here are some shots of all the damage caused by water and a few termites (that I hope are all dead). Of course, what you're seeing is the damaged wood removed. There should be pieces of wood running along the house, connecting the floor beams you see that are perpendicular to the wall. The wood I removed had water damage on the top and termite damage on the bottom.

I don't know why, but termites with their puffy white squirming bodies *really* give me the willies. But other things, like maggots, worms, and most bugs don't bother me at all, and I have no idea why!

The good news is that after a marathon repair day, this damage was repaired ('after' photos coming soon!). It was 8 hours of using scary power tools and crawling around under the house. I really can't decide which is worse.

The power tools are cool and all, but they really freak me out. When I'm using them, I'm all business and I try to be as careful as possible. I always have in the back of my mind that I'm a blink of an eye from a gruesome fate of some sort. I guess you get used to what they can do like any other tool, and I think have both a healthy respect and healthy fear of my table saw, circular saw, and reciprocating saw. After each use, I always feel grateful that I'm still in one piece.

Crawling around under the house I think could qualify as torture. It's dark and cramped, has areas filled with creepy spider egg sacks slung upon equally creepy dusty, thick spider webs, lifting yourself up higher than a crawling stance results in bumping painfully into beams or nails protruding from the floor boards above, and the dirt you're crawling upon consists of fine, powdery dirt for penetrating clothing and breathing protection, mixed with medium to large hunks of concrete or hardened dirt for you to lay on. There's also the fact that the 6 inches from every wall and pillar has been treated with chemicals to kill termites.

Have I painted a sucky enough picture? Read on!

Of course, you just know that at one point I had to do both at the same time, right? I had to drag the reciprocating saw with me under the house to cut off some rusty nails so I would have a clean space to put in new pieces of wood. The saw weighs about 10 pounds and when it fires up in that small space, let me tell you, it's LOUD and kicks up a huge cloud of dust that doesn't have anywhere to dissipate. You know what's even better? I had to do it twice :)

alwayz into somethin'

Today started like any other day. I have all these chores that I can do, but not really the willingness to do any of them. It's kind of like the gym though, once I actually get started, lots can happen! So I decided to check out the main electrical panel in the garage to see why the dryer keeps tripping the main switch.

After removing the metal door and checking out the wiring (no burns, hooray!), I noticed that the patched walls were still in need of painting. So I started sanding everything down and then thought, "Oh yeah! There's that door sill that's rotted out that I've been meaning to check out for about 4 or 5 years." About 4 hours later, I had ripped out about 3 feet of rotted and termite infested wood. I then had to crawl under the house (always a pleasant trip) to look for more termite damage.

The good news is that the colony seems to have been local to just that area, and also consisted of only 2 termites (caught one, crushed the other). While my 'expert' assessment of the situation seems rather optimistic, I think I'll look for some boric acid ASAP. Photos to come!

havin' some fun with Photo Booth

So on the new mac, there's this fun app called Photo Booth were you take pictures with the web cam. The screen goes white for the "flash" and you get this fun little images. Perhaps I should have this sitting out at the next party, awaiting untold photographic abuse by my good friends...

cell photo montage

More shots from Luisa's, our favorite San Lorenzo establishment.

Woooooosh! I take a lot of BART these days. This was at the 16th Street station.

For the life of me, I cannot understand why people think it's okay to take their dogs into stores. I wish I was a smoker - I could then light up in the store and when they asked me to put it out, I would say, "Hey, I'm just forcing something I love onto others just like that woman there with her dog." and proceed to blow a huge drag into their face.

I found some cool graffiti in an alley on my way to work.

The biggest thing of Listerine I've ever seen.

I love signs! Especially ones that amuse me for no particular reason.

random crap from my phone, enjoy!

it's so HUGE!

What might you ask would draw me from my blogging slumber? Insomnia (I'm sure it had nothing to do with the two Red Bulls) and a new mac, of course! Thought I'm still blogging from ol' Betsy, I'm just a firewire cable away (and hours of setting up software... sigh) from using the new giant fucking computer.

Did I really want a 24" widescreen monitor? Not really, I was after the processing power. But these days, ALL flavor of screens are freakin' large. To give you some perspective, check out my 27" TV in the background that I bought way back in 1995 or so. When your computer monitor is as big as your TV, it probably means that you're behind on your consumerism - though in this one shot there are enough electronics to probably feed a small family for a year if you tallied up the retail value (I'm not sure if that's such a good thing).

Here's an updated comparison shot. The computers are in the process of exchanging all of my data and settings. The verdict: so far, so good! If everything pans out, I'm going to love Apple even more!

whirlwind ride

So I've been let go at Bebe.com (not sure why, but I wont miss the commute into Brisbane!). It happened Monday night. I felt more sad about possibly letting down my client/coworkers, but took solace in the fact that it was their decision and that I actually work for The Creative Group. So far, they've taken very good care of me and I've barely had enough time to goof off before being placed at Razorfish for another gig :) Hooray!

Whether or not anything will lead to anything, I don't know. But everyone has been so nice so far, it's hard not to be my usual cynical self (damn them!). I know full well that there are worse things to complain about though, so I'll shut up now.

wii sports jazzercise

So I got Wii Sports on Wednesday, and after a couple of sessions playing, my back and arms are super sore! Wii boxing is absolutely hilarious (there's just something about punching someone in the head that I find so satisfying), but I work up a good sweat after only a few rounds.

I also took the fitness test: first day 41 years old, then 35, then 45. Not so good...

In non-Wii news, my new temp job at Bebe has been going well. It's fast paced, but not terribly difficult (I say that now), and everyone who works there have been super nice. It's definitely all about the product and the customer, as it should be. Even though I thought it would be fun looking at pictures of models all day long, clipping the background out of their hair is extremely annoying and zooming in to remove blemishes feels creepy. At the end of the day, it's just all pixels, though. This sounds bad, but I'm tempted to drive into work so I can have a car to drive to this Mexican place that serves up great burritos! Mmmmm..... global warmed burritos....

Now if I can only get used to the hour and a half commute! Bleh! On the upside of that, my BART EZ Rider card works great (seriously, that's the name they chose for a SMART card pass - their marketing team must have been on a break).

In older news, I watched the Transformers a few weeks ago. It was entertaining, but really violent and showed a lot of babe skin for a "kid's" movie. It was also like watching a commercial. There's product placement and then there's Transformers! It was almost as obvious as the Wayne's World Doritos spoof on product placement, but much less funny. The movie definitely didn't disappoint on Hollywood's long tradition of killing the token black guy though. Good joerb!!! I'd give this mainstream movie 2 stars.

crazy crazy

This past week has been busy for me. I signed up with a creative temp agency on Monday, set up an interview on Tuesday, interviewed on Wednesday, and started on Thursday. I also managed to get my hands on a Wii from eBay, but the seller didn't mention that Wii Sports (the reason the Wii is so fun) wasn't included in the auction. Totally dirty pool!

But the game it did come with was given to my nephew who will enjoy it a great deal I imagine, and Nintendo will be replacing my Wii Sports for a little over twenty bucks. So now all I'm doing is setting up characters and poking around on what it can do. As it turns out, it has a lot of fun features for connecting people who own Wiis. Send me your Wii number if you have one!

And now my new gig can help support another spending habit: getting crap for the Wii. I feel like such the consumer :)

vacancy

Almost as suddenly as they appeared, the nesting birds are gone! No more cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep. Although it drove me insane, I kind of miss it in a way. There was new life right outside my window! They left behind a nest made of mud and twigs and a pile of bird crap. Lousy tenants...

darn, it *IS* inconvenient!

So we finally watched An Inconvenient Truth and even for a jaded follower of the green movement, it was both extra scary and informative. I've read both positive and negative reviews on this movie and about global warming. I just can't understand why the naysayers just can't get past the FACT that polluting the environment is a BAD thing!

Whatever the politics, whatever the science, non science, hearsay, anecdotes, whatever you want to call it – spewing noxious fumes into the air just like dumping sewage into the ocean is not good for the planet and anything living on it and you don't need a scientist or years of studies to know something foul when you smell it. WHY oh WHY does there even need to be a film like this??? Let's just move forward and acknowledge that we all like to use energy, that there are much better ways of doing it, and that we should do it those better ways!

Speaking of which, if your energy provider is PG&E, go to their ClimateSmart page and please sign up for the program! It is a no-brainer way to help the environment by making the energy you use to be carbon neutral thanks to the offsets PG&E will fund through the program. Most people will see their bill go up less than $5 a month! (ours will be something like $2.75).

If you really want to put your money into carbon neutrality, go to Native Energy and buy carbon offsets for everything you do (drive, fly, fart, etc). I found that site through the Climate Crisis site that the movie endorses.

Think your contribution won't do enough? I say everything has to start somewhere, and if this planet melts into a big gooey mess, I want to have at least contributed something to fight it.

Want 100mpg plug-in hybrids? Go here!

home depot sucks

If there was a Lowes closer to home, I'd go there and forgo the torture that it is to visit Home Crapo. It really has gone down hill since it's heyday as the biggest home improvement supplier on the block. Now employees don't really know anything about home improvement, everything is dusty, and most of the time the inventory is in disarray.

This time around, I went to return some items and the 'customer service' line became mired by one individual with a stack of receipts trying to return every thing he ever bought from Home Depot. Instead of opening up another return register, jaded employees casually strolled by as passing customers (literally) gasped at the growing return line that went out the door. Several people just gave up and left - I'm sure the folks in front of me ended up waiting at least 45 minutes before they were finally taken care of. Do I blame the workers? Heck no! The management is always to blame for such situations. I bet they shop at Lowes.

Music Friday

In celebration of goofing off today, I've decided to share with you some more fun music picks from my collection.

Alive by Ima Robot
Scream by Ima Robot
I don't know of anybody who knows who these guys are and I think I found them through an iTunes suggestion. Do yerself a favor and listen to the rest of their album - it's awesome!

King Without A Crown (Live at Stubbs) by Matisyahu
I'm not a religious person, but this song is downright inspirational. The studio version of this song simply doesn't do ANY justice to Matisyahu's incredible talent and charismatic song preaching. Testify!!!

Tale of Five Cities by Peanut Butter Wolf
I found this song randomly while looking for Kid Koala music. It turns out that PB Wolf has an absolutely AMAZING album called My Vinyl Weighs a Ton. If you're into old school rap and DJ, this is the album for you.

Dosvedanya Mio Bombino by Pink Martini
I think this is the only song I've ever liked with horse clops in it. Seriously. This band is crazy unique, great fun, and sold out at all the shows that came to town! The entire CD is filled with great songs in different styles and languages. I've got to go see them live!!!

random tips

Internet Faster
If you use Firefox, go to preferences/advanced/network and change "how Firefox connects to the internet" to 'Auto-detect proxies from this network'. I used to know why this is faster, but that information got pushed out of my brain and was replaced with other things. I suggest you check it out for yourself and see if it makes a difference :)

Tivo Faster
Okay, this is everywhere on the internet, but in case you're a Tivo n00b like myself, you can change your Tivo skip button into a 30-second commercial blaster. Turn on your tv, then press 'select-play-select-3-0-select'. If you did it right, you should hear a few happy chimes. Once you do, your skip button (the one below your banana shaped fast forward button) will advance whatever you're watching 30 seconds instead of going to the next marker on the green bar. If your Tivo loses power or is reset, the button will revert to its default function and you'll have to do the trick again.

Read slower
Put on a blindfold and try to read a book. It's really hard! You have to read by smell, and since that takes a long time, you can really savor a good story.

the never ending house remodel

Check out the giant header Amit and I installed on Monday! It only took 10 hours and still needs to be properly secured to the rest of the framing, but now there's a bit more open space :) Hmmm... it would have been great to have a 'before' photo, wouldn't it have? Oh well - just use your imaginations to think of seeing a wall instead of seeing windows at the back of the garage.

Next up: cabinets! So all the crap you see lying around will actually have a home.

my iPhone iSaga

Ah the iPhone. Coveted. Scarce. Lots o' trouble. Well, it was worth the trouble I should say, because not only did I get to meet and observe all sorts of interesting people in line anxiously waiting to drop at least $500 on a phone (you don't see that every day), but what started out as a mission to earn some quick cash through reselling on eBay ended up as a tantalizingly difficult decision to possibly keep it as an anniversary gift for Cathryn.

After much deliberation, we decided to try to sell it on eBay and when that didn't work out, things went full circle to me standing in front of the counter at the AT&T store returning it. Even before the returning process began, the employee excitedly went to a fellow coworker and said, "Hey look! Another sealed iPhone!" His response, "Great. Put it on my desk." So it didn't even get back on the shelf before it was spoken for!

I immediately thought, "Aw man! I could have sold it to that guy!" Sigh... maybe I'm not greedy enough or don't have the nose for profiteering. Either way, I think I should give up anything that remotely smacks of grifting. Not because of high morals or anything, but because I don't think I'm very good at it :|

Japanese game shows are SO much better!

simpsons avatar

Thanks to The Simpsons Movie site and Sonia, I found this cool tool to create your own Simspons style avatar (I like Cathryn's blank stare). Fun!

be careful what you wish for (as usual)

Not so long ago I lamented the lack of birds in the area. First the hummingbird moved in, now these guys. But unlike the hummingbird which was small, quiet, and pretty, these birds are chirpy and crap EVERYWHERE. On one hand it's cool that birds are building nests and there's a feeling of 'one with nature' in a small way, but on the other hand, I think they've discovered the fountain finally and are building homes near a source of water (like us humans tend to do).

I know it wont last forever, but the constant 'cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep' of the baby bird(s) is starting to drive me crazy because they're right outside the office window. I really have thought during times today that I could have some quiet and a lot less bird shit on the house with just a few well placed blasts with the hose turned all the way up. Think I'm mean? Try this on for size...

CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP!CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! ..... CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! ..... CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! ..... CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP!CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! ..... CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! ..... CHEEP!

something weird this way comes

So this afternoon, I think, "Nice day. Go for a walk!". It was indeed a good walk and I got an errand taken care of as well. The walk only took about a half hour, but sometime after I left and before I got back, someone left a little something on the doorstep. How did they know I liked Hello Kitty? Do I have a secret admirer? Hmmmm... actually, the paper was folded to make a rudimentary envelope and the small ballerina bracelet probably means that it was a gift for someone else and was left on my doorstep by mistake. Still, it's very sweet. Or very weird. I'm going to sleep better at night thinking that it's sweet though :)

So you want an iPhone, do ya?

I'm an existing ATT wireless drone, so I was pretty excited about the exclusive iPhone deal, but I'm tiring of all cost associated with simply having a cellular phone. I currently have a mere $40 a month plan, but want 7pm off peak minutes, so I pay an extra $9 – up from $7, a nice 30% increase from what I originally signed up for, and all my text messages are now $0.15 instead of $0.10, a whopping 50% increase. It may not seem like much until you consider that such percentage increases in price would hardly be tolerated on anything else except for gas (and even that's finally motivating people to drive Priuses).

As an existing customer, I have the option of getting the phone but I'll have to tack on a $20 data option to my plan. That would increase my base plan cost by, yup 50%. And regardless if you're an existing customer or not, they still stick you with a $36 activation fee for the privilege of taking the iPhone home to do all the activation yourself via iTunes after agreeing to a two-year plan extension. Just bending over isn't good enough any more, now you have to bend over so much it would take Stephen Hawking to figure out how many different dimensions you're being bent over in.

Let's do the math, shall we? iPhone $600 (because really, are you going to pay for the $500 version once you've gone this far?) $20 extra a month for 2 years: $480; $36 activation fee; grand totaling to: $1,116 on top of the $1,176 that I would already pay for staying with ATT for 2 years with no changes to my current reaming plan! And that's not including taxes, other hidden fees, and the "oops we realized where we can make even more money" fees that they will probably charge down the line like they did for the 7pm off peak (which was once standard by the way) and text messaging. Funny how their contracts are written so they can increase any fees they feel like, but you'll be charged $175 if you decide to change your mind.

The bottom line, I would still like to get an iPhone, but only if I can take all the money I will spend on it and cram it down the throat of the ATT CEO.

Want to see more number crunching but in a less wordy and ranty form? Check out engadget's cool iPhone cost matrix.

monkey monkey monkey

If you haven't already, you should read this article on the Monkeysphere. Just what is the monkeysphere you ask? Basically, it's the sphere of people you know and care about. Within that sphere, any losses are tragic and very hard to take, but outside of that sphere, you're just reading about it casually with some coffee and a donut before going to the bathroom for your morning dump. And you guys thought I was a heartless bastard! It just turns out that my sphere is smaller than most.

[insert joke about having a small sphere here]

my kryptonite

It's a good thing that only one of these items is kept in the house on a regular basis. Growing up in a family that was a proprietor of a liquor store for almost a decade gave me an aversion to alcohol until I was about 24 (first beer: sierra nevada at Bottom of the Hill) and also developed my snacking palette. I remember when Nacho Cheese was the new Dorito flavor as well as when Chili Cheese Fritos first made their way onto our shelves. It was glorious!

If any of the above snacks find their way into my hands, I turn into a snack eating zombie and don't notice what I'm doing until I'm halfway or ALL the way through the bag/can/package/box! Sadly I can't eat any of these much any more... the whole getting old and having a high cholesterol thing.

One day perhaps, on a lost weekend, you're find me passed out with a pile of empties atop my bulging midsection and a huge grin on my crumb covered face.

Honorable mentions: Famous Amos Chocolate Chip Pecan Cookies, Funyuns, San Francisco Sourdough Snacks, Planters Cashew Halves, Hawaiian Sweat Onion Kettle Style Potato Chips, and Cheetos Twisted.

See Britney Spears and Angelina Jolie Naked on American Idol!

Yesterday, if you haven't heard already, an amusement park ride severed a girl's feet at Six Flags in Kentucky. Gruesome!!! I think I'll stick to roller coasters where your feet are tucked in at all times from now on. Long time ago I was on the Top Gun ride at Great America and thought that we were passing pretty close to the trees below. I stuck out my foot a little bit and clipped a branch as we zoomed by. Thankfully I still have my feet, but it hurt like the dickens!

Google Analytics got updated and now I can see what people are searching for when that happen upon my little blog. My favorite search so far is, "where in the fuck are my passports". Ha! I feel your pain, whoever you are! It turns out a lot of people are getting two passports. The one they suffered for at the passport office and the one they were supposed to get months and months ago that arrives the day or day before travel. Can you feel the increased security? I can. O yes. I can. Fuck Bush indeed.

So even though Britney Spears has been outed as the trailer trash she always has been, people can't seem to get enough of her. They also wont shut up about American Idol. And since I'd personally agree with trying to see what's going on with Angelina Jolie, I've made the most powerful blog title ever! Surely this will increase site traffic...

hooray for Friday!

For whatever reason, Thursday felt like Friday. Does that make Friday Saturday? And if so, do I have to work?

honk if you think the Patriot Act is unconstitutional*

I had forgotten about the photos I posted to stock.xchng when I was contacted by Midori Nakamura (an editor for DivineCaroline) who wanted to use one. Good for Laura Sweeney who wrote a positive article about how the French and U.S. helped each other out during times of war and how we have much to celebrate this coming 4th and 14th of July (Independence Day and Bastille Day respectively). Right now I feel the world has had enough of the U.S. and I don't blame them! But feel good for a moment and remember that times were once tough but got good again by reading this nifty article.

*Read up on the Patriot Act