rogue hair

WARNING! ¡ADVERTENCIA! 경고!

If you're squeamish about hair, DO NOT read this particular blog entry!! This entry has been dramatized for effect, edited for content, and cropped for computer screens. May contain disturbing imagery. Parental discretion advised.

When I was young (just a few years ago it seemed), I worried only about the hair atop my melon of a head. Lo, now that I am aged, I find that I am discovering hair growing where I've never seen before. Where I never fathomed hair would sprout forth and multiply. I gotta say I still don't think I'll ever have to worry about unwanted hair as much as most women have their entire lives, but this new hairy chapter in my life has been quite traumatic!

At first, all I had to deal with were my giant caterpillar brows. That's okay I figured, because I rather liked their distinctiveness and it made sense that I should care for and nurture them (how else would anyone know if I was surprised?) But one fateful day whilst I was cleansing my face, I noticed that it felt like a stray loose hair had gotten caught in my ear. No problem I figured - I'll just wash it out with some water. O the horror there was when I realized that it would not wash out! In fact it would NEVER be washed out!! It would need to be plucked out! For it was firmly rooted in the inner lobe of my ear like some evil horrible seed had sown its wickedness in the pristine pasture of the smooth and beautiful.

From that day forward, I have used all the powers my OCD has given me to never allow such freakish hairs to ever be seen upon my person in public. It is my hope, that by exercising such vigilance, I will never open up a gift and find a battery powered nose hair trimmer along with tiny scissors and tweezers inside.