Feed the read

So another rip roaring week has come to pass and with it a whole new world of experiences and a bevy of insights and revelations. Okay... that's not entirely the case, but you could always purchase this porcelain figurine of one boy playfully jumping over another boy that is bent over. My only regret is that I failed to record the asking price of this fine piece of Americana crap occupying shelf space at the local Walgreens.

So for the blog faithful that remembers my happiness thing from the last entry, I am with cautious optimism learning to embrace this so called "happiness" thing. I know many could say that I was off my rocker and I'm full of shit, and to that I'd say, "I'm not off my rocker!!!" I guess you'd have to understand that I've lived a life full of angst, anxiety, and anger - which is actually par for the course for lots of folks I would say. I think that after you live with such things for a while, you not only become accustomed to them, but you don't really feel comfortable unless they're around.

I guess speaking completely philosophically, as I think it's the only way I can explain it, is that maybe I am finally ready to let the various eddies and currents of life fill my sails to take me to new destinations, rather than building as big and strong of a wall as possible to stay exactly where I am. Which I think can be rather scary to be sure, but I'm almost positive it's the best way to find my way through. That was pretty hokey, wasn't it? Just call me Deepak.

But enough of the heavy water, can I talk about Popeye's chicken? And how oily and delicious it is? And how it's much better if you have Popeye's cajun french fries and Popeye's buttery biscuits with it as well as an ice cold Pepsi to qench your enevitable thirst from the various spicy fried goodness you ingest? Yes, O yes, Popeye's rocks the house! (or as Little Nicky would say, "I like how it feels when I tilt my head back and let the meat slide down my throat hole.")

RECENTLY BOUGHT AT TARGET®
1 Motorola 5.8 GHz Digital Expandable Cordless Telephone System ~ $88 on sale!

Finally breathing the air in the blogosphere

So after an extended stay from blogging, I'm finally back! What was I doing you may wonder? (I'm sure everyone lay awake at night pondering my absence from publishing) For those of you who may recall, I was suffering from ennui. Or an extended flu. Or something. Maybe it was the hives. Maybe it was mysterious gases coming from the crawlspace below my floors. But I figured it out!!! I'm suffering from... happiness.

That's right, you read it! As absurd as it sounds, I've spent a great deal of my life suffering. Not REAL suffering mind you. But the kind that's in your brain. The kind that can best be described as small demons running amok in your innermost being, poking at all the really sensitive areas all day long and then laughing about it over scones and earl grey. So now that I'm experiencing a long stretch of happiness, well, I'm not really sure what to do! I guess the first thing I would do is jinx it by writing about it in some fucking stoopid blog. The next thing I will do is figure out how to "enjoy" life I guess, now that I've reconciled the fact that happiness is indeed possible and some how I've managed to blunder into a big heaping pile of it.

Some other fallout from being trapped in the house left to think is that I've been addicted to shopping on eBay. Holy shit it's bad! Bad bad bad bad!!! Then there's iTunes. Damn it!! So much good music, so little time, cash, and taste. So as many of you may or may not know by now, I got an InFocus projector off of eBay (Harsha the social engineer figured that one out early). I've been dying, just dying to write about how much it kicks ass!!! Sure I'm a little late to school on the whole big screen thing, but I'm glad I'm finally here. And the best part, the VERY best part, is that I get to share the experience with my friends for movie nights! Following a close second is playing video games on the big screen and of course, watching porn on the big screen.

A friend of mine recently remarked how shocked she was to read that I used the word "crotch". To that I say, "Crotch crotch my crotchity crotch crotch."

I win because I cheat

Ahhh... another year has cometh and goneth. I find the passage of time such a strange concept, especially when coupled with photos. Like individual frames of a movie, everything I've known and ever will know is made of countless small moments all strung together. I then think about how in so many ways small things matter and how they amount to much larger things, and then when those larger things interact, how they lead to larger things still. It's all so very mind boggling! Of course, then Fear Factor comes on and I get distracted by all the scantly clad women jumping around.

The above photos kinda got mixed up, and I'm too lazy to fix 'em, but I can say that two are from Rajan's reception and two are from a sushi night out. I usually refrain from putting photos of people or myself on the blog (why, I'm not quite sure just yet), but I thought these images of me were amusing and interesting. There's nothing like the ol' orange peel in the mouth gag or the my face is smashed up against an invisible pane of glass gag.

The reception hall we were at for the reception was lit with all sorts of lights and had chandeliers hung way up high. As many of you know, I love blurry photos and this is no exception. If anything, the image definitely captures the energy of the evening.

Xmas and New Year's kicked much ass this year. And while I enjoyed the holidays immensely, I was dogged the whole time by this wicked ass flu. Thankfully, it wasn't the avian flu (we're still waiting for a more virulent human to human strain to develop, in case you were keeping score), but it was a fucking nasty ass flu nonetheless. Something tough was definitely making the rounds this year, as many people I spoke to, both familiar and stranger, told tales of high temperatures and unpleasant discharges.

As a parting shot, I'll tell you about a new song that I like a great deal. That fact isn't so special, but the fact that it's from the Rolling Stones I find rather unusual for my tastes! Find it on iTunes or Amazon.com.

Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year!

Last weekend I went to the coast and stayed an the Marina Dunes Resort. It was completely and utterly a fantastic trip! The entire time the weather was kind of stormy, so we got to feel the energy pouring off the crashing waves in the surf nearby. The on site resataurant had lots of dead things up for decoration, and the first pic shows the funniest one. As I snapped that image, the hostess was walking by and proudly said, "I decorated that one the best I think. It's my favorite!" Ha ha... if she only knew that I was taking the picture to document the sheer gall and irony of killing something, then using it as decoration, then putting a hat and ornaments on it to make it all cheery. Nice specimen of a gazelle though. He looks like he was contemplating what grass to eat next when they got him.

If you click on the middle picture, you'll be treated to a very large blow up of the beach that day. The wind was blowing so fiercely, that if you look closely, you can see misting blowing in the opposite direction off shore back out to the ocean.

The last pic is the wonderful view from our room. I took the image from in between some blinds, so that's what the interesting framing is about. It would have been nice to have a completely unobstructed view of the ocean, but as we walked along the beach, we could look into all the rooms with unobstructed views. Woohoo! I see you there on your bed watching TV and eating from the snack basket! (sigh... no naked folks).

After getting back, I got a wonderful case of the flu and am finally getting back to my old self today. I'm still all sniffly and coughy though. The good news is that I had plenty of time to take care of my ebay stuff and pretty much unloaded everything I wanted to. I am now an eBay expert and can teach classes to rubes on late night TV.

It's time to start hoarding Pepsi

Okay, so I know that the image doesn't look like much. But I love the warmth of the hardwood floors contrasted with the bubbly blue lights. For those who don't already know, this is a great billiards bar in Berkeley. Thalassa has been host to many fun events and gatherings, both long ago and recent. One of my fondest memories of this establishment took place almost exactly one year ago on Xmas eve. We didn't have anything to do and our families had gone to bed so we decide to see what was open. Lo and behold there was Thalassa. With it's low lights and aqautic themed decor, it was jumpin'! Granted it was mostly dudes who were there (or maybe all, I can't exactly recall), everyone was in a great mood and it was the perfect relaxing ending to a long day of holiday festivities.

In other news, my old computer has finally sold! Hooray! Sad how computers lose their value so quickly, but I got a decent price and I'll be completely relieved when the payment is sent, the computer is shipped off, and the auction winner sends me happy regards for her purchase. Only one more day left to go, and the remainder of my items will have closed. Whew! I don't think selling things on eBay is a good idea for someone as obsessive compulsive as I am (did anyone bid yet? nope. did anyone bid yet? nope. did anyone bid yet? nope. did anyone bid yet? one dollar! hooray!! did anyone bid two dollars yet? repeat and escalate...)

Finally, peruse my money making scheme on the right. If you're bored and would like to help an Asian brother out, click on the Google links and click around on the resultant site, or use the Google search bar to do searches for your holiday shopping (or porn surfing). I think I get a tenth of a hundreth percent of any money Google makes off of your clicking around. Sooner or later I'll be able to buy some gum! Don't kill my dream of minty fresh breath! Please click thoroughly and click often! Thank you for your support.

Hmmm... I just realized that 2/3 of this blog is about money. DAMN I'm greedy!!! I need to get hair like Donald Trump to complete my transformation.

RECENTLY BOUGHT AT TARGET®
2 Scrabble Board Games ~ 8.44 on sale!
1 Jenga ~ 8.44 on sale!
1 Monopoly ~ 8.44 on sale!
3 Twelve Packs o' Pepsi ~ 2.50 on sale!

All geek all the time

This post is more of a geeky afterthought. Included below is something poached from Overheard in the Office and a link to new Star Trek episodes based upon the orignal series.

Inside Wholesaler #1:
We could cast a fourth Lord of the Rings with some of the people that work on this sales desk.

Inside Wholesaler #2:
I know! [Janet] looks like a stump with eyes and a mouth.

God how I love unnecessarily harsh insults.

Star Trek: New Voyages
I just downloaded the second episode. For amateurs, this stuff is amazing. What's more amazing is that this schlock was more engaging than Aeon Flux. Bad acting and cheesy special effects, bring it on!!!

To add more randomness to this blog, ever since I misspelled results, I'm paranoid I'm going to write an email to a client promising great resluts. Every time I use that word I have to read it fucking five times before my dyslexic brain figures it out. Fcuk!

My life is a dramatization

When I saw this snowman night-light, I laughed and I laughed. It was the kind of laugh that can only come from someone with a naughty juvenille mind apparently, because no one else got it. C'mon folks! I'm not the only one that sees the humor in this, am I??? Look at how happy the snow man is holding onto his big red pole :) The best part about this night-light is that the red liquid inside the tube starts to bubble after it gets heated up! Sigh. I guess you had to be there. And yes, we all know that I am going to hell. But now we know I'll be going there without gifts, too.

Last night I was at Target and everyone including me was walking around in a zombie like fashion, fondling holiday gift potentials, but having a far away look in their eyes as they did so. Tis the season to be overloaded by options. I bumped into this one woman in the toy section and her cart was FULL of stuff. I kid you not. I've never seen a cart that full unless it was filled with go-backs and being hauled by a disgruntled low on the totem pole employee. She must live in a giant shoe or something.

So what have I been up to? Unloading all my junk upon the world through eBay!!! Muhahahahahaha!! Check it out here. Okay, not all of it's junk. I mean, a VHS tape of Flash Gordon. How could anyone resist I tell you? If any of you are game, please bid up my stuff and I will consider giving you "minion" status when I become evil overlord of the world (after Bush's term is over, of course).

Sleep, eat. Repeat.

I should be working now, but I've just been dying to update my blog (priorities, you know). Update it with you ask? NOTHING!! Ha ha. This will be just like an episode of Seinfield (except it will not be funny nor will it deliver me untold riches in royalty fees).

I went to my bank the other day and noticed that they still have the security camera pointed at the line and at the tellers. So while I'm standing around in line while the friendly tellers make chit chat, I can see that the guy at the counter in front of me and to my left just made a large cash withdrawl in several sets of twenties. Christmas could come early if I decided to follow him into the parking lot and pick pocket him - ho ho ho!

Of course, that would be naughty, and I probably wouldn't get the flamethrower that I desperately want :'( Speaking of which, to get something else I want, I decide to attempt to hock my Rotozip on Craigslist. I put a posting that said Rotozip for sale $59. Apparently, that was a very confusing thing to do. Because everyone who contacted me wanted to barter or get a lower price after I offered to demonstrate the usuage of the tool as well as fucking deliver it to their door! Augghh!! You can have the Rotozip for free if you'll let me use it on your skull to see if there's anything inside!!!

Actually, I don't hate the people who responded. They were all very nice, and one dude was pretty old and most likely a veteran (we had a genial half hour conversation). I guess I'm just a little frustrated at the whole process. I'm still emailing with someone who apparently works at Best Buy and wants to try to work a deal to get a deal. Can't anyone just buy my stuff with cash at a reasonable price without life stories???

As a fun random aside, if you like popping bubble wrap, you can do so virtually here (be sure to use manic mode). It's not as fun as real bubble wrap of course, but I enjoyed the novelty of doing it online for about 30 seconds.

I guess that's all I got. Everyone have a great weekend and drive safely! There are lots of out of towners driving about and they're all reading roadsigns while being frightend by rain instead of safely operating their vehicles :P

A life less ordinary

It would have been fun to spill the beans on my fancy new haircut on the blog before most people saw me, but I got too busy, yada yada yada. I gotta say, it has been more fun with the new 'do. People seem to be friendlier and I certainly get more attention from random folks on the street than normal (translate: from zero attention to slightly more than zero).

The two top questions I get are how and why (or in some cases, why????). The how is easy. Two mirrors, one on the wall and one in my hand, and the electric clipper in the other hand. Throw in some mirror dexterity and hand-eye coordination and I'm done. The why is more complicated. For fun is the easy answer. But I think it goes deeper than that (as most things do). I've been definitely wanting more something lately. What it is, I do not know. But I do know that I am not satisfied with myself and long for personal growth of some sort. Maybe I'll join a Kool-Aid lovin' commune or something. Who knows. I usually get out of these doldrums of sorts by days of heavy introspection. A sort of settling accounts with myself. What have I done? What have I been doing? What should I be doing? How can I improve? What should I keep the same? Many questions. Then answers that usually lead to more questions. I wish I could get paid to be a philospher. I could hold up a sign that says, "Will philosophise for food".

Then there's the picture of me with a bird on my shoulder. I'll keep the story behind that a mystery and instead tell you about the shot. I wanted to juxtapose a sullen expression with dramatic lighting against the little white bird. I could have had a goofy smile on my face as one might expect, but I think the image is far more interesting this way.

Big turkey yum!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! May your food be bountiful, your company remind you of why you should be thankful, and your life all the sweeter for reaffirming it.

I'm feeling fecund today

Unless you're really intersted in architecture, I'm sure these photos are probably pretty boring to you (and I wish they were better photos, but all I had on me was my phone… sorry!). I've actually been meaning to post them forever. They're photos of the Walt Disney Concert Hall in Los Angeles that I took while visiting my cousin. It totally looks like the Guggenheim in Bilbao, Spain, so I feel less bummed that I wont make it there any time soon (although I'd still love to make there some day). Almost everything about this structure is amazing in form and function. It makes me really wish that more thought was put into every building. And while I don't expect super fancy like this example, it would be nice if most structures simply worked and looked a little better than they do now (hence my constant fussing over the house).

As I sit and write this post during the wee hours of the night (well… it's 5am right now), I'm reflecting on a very busy, mostly crappy work week. I can't wait to have fun this weekend. I just want to relax and put work out of my mind! Lately I've been pondering if I should be doing something else with my “career.” Should I move to try to be a better designer? Should I try a new vocation entirely? I dunno. Oddly enough, as much as I have disdain for children in general, I take a great deal of satisfaction and pride in teaching them new things. I seem to connect to them easily (I think it's mostly because we're at the same maturity level) and I enjoy seeing the feelings that come with discovery and understanding. But as much as I'd want to be a teacher, I just know that I'm too moody to take kids day in and day out (little buggers!). Hmm… maybe I'm having a middle age thing going on. I wonder if I should just buy a Porcsche instead.

Dishes my blog

So there you have it. Some of my new plates set on top of the aforementioned bamboo charger. Pretty nice lookin', isn't it? It looks even better because the new plate is poplulated by some delicious pitas lovingly made by Cathryn. The photoshoot was set up by me. Yes, it took me a whole 5 minutes to arrange the plates and put in the empty dipping bowl for show (I hope you guys appreciate all my hard work!)

Speaking of hard work, I actually made it all the way to the gym today! Huzzah!! Huzzah!! Huzzah!!!! I was tired, but I really am happy I went. I can feel blood pumping through my veins again and I'll probably rest better tonight as well. Ah elusive motivation, I have found you at last today. I'm sure tomorrow and the next day will be a different story, but I'm working on it!

Here's a funny story for you… at work we have this ridiculous elevator where the buttons don't always register. I swear I pressed the button for floor 3, but when the doors opened, I was on floor 5. I took one step out, and went "What the hell???" and then wandered back in. Of course doing so right in front of the FedEx dude who was waiting to get in the elevator (the whole time blocking him from getting in). Aside from looking like a complete doofus who doesn't understand how elevators work, I felt all discombobulated from the feeling of being magically transported to a different building. Too bad I wasn't high with a bunch of other people who were also high. It would have been a much funnier experience!

Told ya. This blog was complete fluff. More fluff than in San Fernando Valley.

ps. I ate the pita. Yes I did. And it was fucking GOOD. Especially after I put some poppy seed dressing on it (it's better than crack!).

I should be sleeping now

But instead I'm still blogging! (I have a secret mission to push the video that keeps loading off of the bottom so that it's archived and can stop loading everytime I visit my fucking blog). There's something about old pictures that I've always loved. Is it the sepia tone? The non Kodak moment expressions? I dunno. But there's a warmth in the imagery that's not so common these days (I love, LOVE, daguerreotypes).

The images you see above are of my great grandparents on my father's side. If you ever wondered why folks don't smile in old photos, it's because in all likelyhood they were suffering a great deal. Seriously, times were tough back then. My dad was telling me of how they had to hide in a backyard for months while the communists were "pacifying" the countryside. They survived only because a neighbor noticed them there and nonchalantly tossed food over the fence when no one was looking. On my mom's side, they have similar stories because of WWII.

I'll have to remember not to complain so much when I decide to notice that no one is trying to kill me while I'm slowly starving to death.

Hmm… that's weird. I went from normal to serious again. Sorry about that. I promise the next post will be all fluff. You'll feel good about it and forget all about these not so fluffy ones.

Stompin' in my Air Force Ones

Ah, it's that time again. When bright lights are hung from the rafters, mistle toe hung over doors, green and red themed everything, and the holiday push to consume. I'm not talking about Decmeber though. All the xmas crap was in the stores before the Halloween candy sold out. I remember when consumerism was the big rallying point against all that's evil with our society. Interesting how times change, isn't it? Now we have honest to goodness evil incarnate as elected leader of our nation. Oh how I long for the days of SDI, Iran Contra, and weapons for hostages! Them were the good ol' days indeed.

Ha ha, sorry. I don't know where that came from. I guess I'm feeling all political again (although I promise to remain apathetic – sorry). In the meantime, enjoy this phallic image of a really cool building in SF. I took this image while drunk out of my mind from drinking an entire crystal geyser bottle of Vodka flavored with something sweet tasting (I think). Ah, good times!

I'll buy that for a dollar!

Well techinically, we were at the 99 cent store. And if wasn't surprised enough to see Necco Wafers on my right, there was this whole thing of condoms on my left! (oooo... dual pleasure) Not to be snobbish about something as important as prophylactic protection, but condoms for 99 cents is either a great deal, or the surest way to a paternity hearing. Getting back to Necco Waffers, I've never even tried them, but for some reason I know about them. Like they're somehow part of the American historical fabric. Are they a midwest thing? Do they taste good? Do they taste like ass? Please let me know! Because not only are they only 99 cents, apparently they're fat free as well. And is it just me, or do they look like road flares?

Sorry to be all Andy Rooney, but does anyone know about the history behind the saying, "beating a dead horse"? For whatever random reason, I thought, where the heck does that come from, and why would anything be equated to beating a dead animal? Why not beating a dead dog, cat, squirrel, or donkey? "Stop beating a dead donkey, I've heard enough!!"

Ah well, it would seem that I have more questions than answers. Such is life.

p.s. I went a little crazy this weekend and replaced all my hand-me-down dinnerware with stuff that I liked from you guessed it, TARGET!!

p.p.s Now that I know waht the fuck a "charger" is, Martha Stewart had better watch her back!

RECENTLY BOUGHT AT TARGET®
2 Global Home Zazen Crackle Tuquoise 4-pk. dinner plates ~ 19.99 on sale!
1 Global Home Zazen Crackle Tuquoise 4-pk. salad plates ~ 17.99 on sale!
4 Global Home Zazen Crackle Tuquoise soup bowls ~ 4.49 on sale!
2 Global Home Zazen Crackle Tuquoise dipping bowls ~ 3.58 on sale!
2 chargers ~ 6.99 each
4 Onyx bowls ~ 2.99 each
1 Onyx sushi set ~ 7.99

Spank you very much

Yes, as many of you have long suspected, I am a big dork. And since I finally have the photo evidence to prove it, I've decided to post it. But lo, what's this? I'm a nicely dressed dork! That's right, I'm sporting mother of pearl necklace(1) cuff links. Oh yes. That's right. Fancy. So whether or not you may have guessed by now from reading the blogs of my esteemed contemporaries, I'm dressed up for Rajan's big day. Right now he and Paula are most assuredly sunning themselves on a beautiful beach somewhere in the lower Americas. This was a good day of celebrating life, love, and friendship.

So guess where I'm blogging from today? I'm in Concord as a guest housesitter! Ah Blogger, you have served me well once again. I had a most productive day today. After getting up at 11ish, I played with the cats, then had a banana. Feeling internet withdraws, I then put together the home owner's computer in the kitchen (they recently got DSL hooked up and things aren't set up yet) and have been happily surfing since. Oh yeah, I also took a break to vacuum the house (yes, I was THAT bored) and clean out the litter box (it was as stinky as you'd ever want to smell). Vacuumming made me a bit peckish, so I broke out the port wine cheese and crackers and had my fill of a yummy snack. While eating said snack, I took a call and wrote this blog. Yep. I know, you want to be me, but like a government worker, I'm slacking off and don't plan to get fired any time soon.

RECENTLY BOUGHT AT TARGET®
Volcano High DVD as shown on MTV, voiced by today's hip-hop stars ~ 9.44
4 bags of Halloween candy for children begging at the door ~ 2.11 each

1 I wrote it, you thought it. It is indeed a reference for those of you with minds like mine :)

Maybe I need to wear more flair

So I had this really big thing written out about what Halloween was like for me this year. True to my experiences this weekend, Blogger hiccupped and subsequently wiped out all my words. So I'll sum it up. I apologized to all my friends for not being myself. I also thanked all of them for supporting me, understanding me, or otherwise overlooking my grumpy state. Near as I can tell, the skull that's depicted as eating my car, was also after my soul. I'm glad it didn't get it, and I'm glad for my friends.

I break, you fix. Thank you!

In honor of the upcoming All Hallow's Eve, here are two fun images for you! The first is a spider that has chosen my front porch as her new home. And check out a this sneak peak at my contribution to Amit's giant Halloween project. It's still a work in progress (obviously), and I'm hoping it won't be crap when all is said and done. I finally got to use my glue gun, and I gotta say that I can totally see myself becoming addicted to using it! After I got the hang of how it worked, I found myself looking for stuff to glue together (Hello, buttcheeks!). I had always hoped that there was a little bit of an industrial designer in me. Now if I can only fall in love with modeling foam...

I usually don't go on and on about new music (too much - heh, heh), but I just saw the new video from Madonna for the song "Hung Up" kicks so much ass, it is not to be believed! This song is just begging to be turned into a club friendly 12" mix, and if the rest of the music from her new album is of this caliber, expect to be inundated with her songs for a while.

Getting back to addictive things, I just ate a bunch of nacho flavored Doritos while drinking Pepsi. I was literally giddy with happiness after doing so. How can so much happiness come from a bag and a can? I don't know, but I wonder if there's a support group out there for what I have.

The hive diaries

I've been trying to write down everything I eat, wear, or am otherwised exposed to in an effort to find out what's triggering my hives because my doctor asked me to. So I end up looking like an escaped insane asylum patient who scratches himself and then records the special event in a notebook. It's been interesting in a way to see exactly the wide variety of things I consume in a day, but I don't know how long I can keep this up! I've had better luck with something else my doctor wanted me to do, though.

Everyday I'm supposed to boil up some water so that it's nice and steamy, then shove my head into the steam and breathe in the vapors for at least 5 minutes. Doing so is supposedly great for my always clogged sinuses. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that inhaling scalding hot steam into your lungs through your nasal passages feels great! Well, it actually doesn't even come close to something fun to do, but you know what? Doc was right. I've only been doing it fairly regularly for about two weeks and things are noticeably better (ha, ha, I said "doing it fairly regularly"). So if you find a "So I heard your sinuses are feeling better!" Hallmark card, please send it.

Oh yeah, since I love giving too much information (especially in the form of an embarrassing story), I vigorously adjusted myself the other day when I thought no one was around. Normally I'd wait until I'm in the glorious private solitude that is a restroom stall, but my undies were pinching all around somethin' fierce and something just HAD to be done. So I reached around and shook it all about to great relief, only to realize a moment later that all along the path I was walking upon were these rooms of a workshop with big windows and people working inside right next to them. The glare from said windows had duly blocked any hint of activity from where I was on the path at the moment of my decision to go for the gold. I don't know if any of them saw my little dance, but as nonchalantly as I could, I walked on through and didn't look back. That's right. No regrets. It was worth it. I was finally feelin' fine!

Last but not least, I almost forgot to talk about the pictures! The fishy was a happy little piñata. We then beat him with a stick until he burst open to spill his insides out onto the patio. He was filled with delicious, sweet, sweet candy. And something called Dots. Heretofore known to me as yet another thing that tastes like ass.

RECENTLY BOUGHT AT TARGET®
2 large terra-cotta pots on clearance ~ incredible deal at 12.48 each!
1 glue gun for halloween projects ~ 8.99
1 big bag of glue sticks for the glue gun (I'm living the glue gun dream) ~ 2.49
1 hanes crew neck sweat shirt for my mom ~ 6.49

Kentucky is the lubricant state

I can't believe it's been almost two weeks since we were wandering around the edges of the Mission when I came across these things. When I first saw the road sign, I couldn't believe it was for real! Ha ha. Those DOT folks have a sense of humor after all (considering that it took them a decade long study or something to figure out the new typeface to use for traffic signs). Perhaps they could put the sign up on the corner of Polk and Leavenworth to advertise fast service as well as promote safe driving speeds.

The lion was in the display window at a taxidermy shop. Get this, the door had a "no pictures" sign posted on it (oops, I saw the giant lion in the big window before reading the sign on the door). Apparently, it's okay to kill an animal, gut its insides, replace those insides with stuffing, treat its remaining outer shell with chemicals, and then display its corpse in a storefront, but whatever you do, DON'T TAKE A PICTURE OF IT!

It's not that I have a problem with killing things. I really don't. It's that people have a fucked up view of what's okay to be killed and what's not. I say, if you've ever killed anything, anything; an ant, a spider, a squirrel under you car tire, you're fucking fair game for the rest of the world. I'm not promoting excessive random killing mind you. I just think some goddamn motherfucking respect is in fucking order. I'm including myself in the mix of course – if I get eaten by a bear, it's my own fucking fault. Getting eaten would certainly suck as all get out, but don't shoot the bear because I was walking around with hoho's in my pocket while eating beef jerky and poking her cub with a stick. Fucking tourists.

Ahhh… that rant felt pretty good. For my money, birth and death are insignificant unto themselves, it's what happens in between that give either any meaning.

*For those of you interested in/need to know Kentucky's sodomy laws, click here to see why they did right by their state abbreviation (some free advice: skip the legal mumbo jumbo crap and read the last paragraph like I did with Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Formally Known As Prince).